Page 76 of Only You
‘You know, one good thing about our connection is that you can’t kill me without karma taking you with me,’ she said.
He huffed out a small laugh, sitting down in front of the couch. ‘I figured it would at least get dark outside before the intrusive thoughts came out.’
‘I’m just saying,’ she said. ‘But let’s switch topics. What’s your favourite colour?’
She expected him to answer the question after a quick but knowing laugh. Instead, his brows raised in concern, and he asked, ‘Are you okay?’ She closed her eyes at the question, sighing.
Her first instinct was to tell Jones how much she was struggling, maybe even ask for his help, but she liked the middle ground they’d struck. They didn’t ignore their past lives, nor did they go out of their way to bring them up. They walked the conversational middle ground, and she would be damned if she broke it first.
Yet, looking at his expression, the worry in his eyes that he did his best to hide behind an upbeat smile, it felt cruel to leave him out completely.
‘Jones…’ He put his hands up in defence.
‘I’m not talking about it. I’m just asking if you’re okay,’ he said. ‘But you know, you can talk to me about it even if you haven’t found anything.’
‘I know.’ Her nails clinked against the glass as she searched for the right words, feeling more tongue-tied than usual. ‘It’s easier in a way and harder in another. I’m looking into Mali. There’s a thread there, I know there is. I just need to figure out what it is.’
They stared at each other, and she could practically hear what he was thinking, that she could ask him for help, just as she knew her eyes were asking him to be patient. Being friends was enough for now. It had to be. Yet…
‘I just feel like… once we cross that line, it’ll be all I ever think about with us. That I’ll spend all our time together looking for a way out and if I’m wrong…’
She didn’t dare look at him as she spoke, the words barely coming out above a whisper under the weight of all that she didn’t say. Why did it matter if all they did was work on a solution unless she wanted something more? She cleared her throat to fill the silence. ‘Besides, the memories are already occupying 90 per cent of my brain. It’s better if I don’t let them take up any more.’
Her tone was joking but her words were truthful. She thought it would work like the regular memories, first being prominent but fading as new ones came in. Instead, it felt like it was more like a box set of films that she could rewind and play in complete clarity, Demir and Selene sliding cleanly next to Sabine, Damien, Sarah and David often leaving Dani with a migraine. Her mind felt like it was expanding to accommodate the new information. All the lives – and the feelings they were drenched in – weighed on her like a hangover.
‘You should make memory palaces,’ he said. She raised her eyebrows as she stared at her faint reflection in the water. ‘It’s a technique that helps people remember events in their life by creating a place in their mind specifically for that memory or set of memories. Makes them easier to carry. And instead of trying to remember everything, you just remember the thing that made it special.’
‘A memory palace,’ she murmured before meeting his gaze. Her heart squeezed at the understanding look in his eyes with a smile that matched Selene’s perfectly. She wondered if he saw parts of their past in her too. Who were they without it? Or did it even matter? The thoughts came faster and faster, but she forced herself out of the spiral, focusing on the warmth in his gaze.
They could have been a million people, but they weren’t. And while there were remnants, Jones wasn’t like anyone else they had been before, and it made him that much more tempting.
‘So, if I want to remember today, I’ll just have to remember how you taught me bass,’ she said casually.
‘I haven’t done that,’ he said.
The wordyethung between them, just waiting for a little push.
‘I haven’t seen you play since that day in class.’ She nodded to the bass in the other corner of Jones’s living room, partially hidden by a curtain. ‘Care to correct that?’
Jones chuckled before standing up. He grabbed his bass and started tuning the strings as he returned to her side.
‘Deal,’ Jones agreed. He picked up an amp that was tucked away in the corner and plugged the bass in. ‘But you have to sit closer if you actually want me to teach you something.’
‘Just the basics,’ she said, scooting until she was right next to him, their knees within inches of touching. ‘But play something for me, just so I know what I could be doing.’
‘Sure,’ he drawled, tuning the instrument until the sound was just right. He launched into a breezy, romantic song. He strummed effortlessly, breathing the song into existence. His fingers were an extension of that action, and she could only imagine the hours it took for him to make it look so easy. She felt a tug in her chest as she rested her arm against the couch, staring at him in awe.
She had heard plenty of skilled musicians; she was surrounded by them every day. But a part of her had gotten used to people playing for the accolades or to be number one, even she had to give into that mentality to be where she was. So, to see Jones play for the joy of it, no more, no less… he was mesmerising. He always had been.
‘Okay.’ He removed the guitar from his neck and held it out to her. ‘Your turn.’
‘Yeah, because I definitely want to followthat,’ she commented as she eased the bass strap over her head. The weight of the instrument was heavier than she expected, and she had to straighten her back to counterbalance it. It was strange having to support the instrument with her shoulder instead of her arms and legs like with her cello. She thumbed the frets curiously, not used to those either.
‘We’re going to leave it unplugged until you get the hang of it,’ he said. ‘You ever played a bass before?’
‘Just a little bit of acoustic guitar,’ she replied.
‘Well, the concept is basically the same,’ he said. He walked her through the different notes that the frets marked, some tips for strumming and plucking. She listened attentively as she would in any other music class. She picked up on his instructions pretty quickly and soon he was scooting back to let her run through a basic scale.
