Page 45 of The Love of Our Lives
And as we fall on to the enormous bed, with flakes fluttering against the window, I feel myself floating up and up, leaving the two of us together.
Like how it always should be.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
‘Merry Christmas you filthy animal.’
‘And to you too, Fran,’ I say with a laugh down the phone, ‘though it’s still only Christmas Eve. But thank you already for the most enormous hamper of chocolate I’ve ever seen. We’ll be eating it for the next year.’
Or at least, I hope so.
‘Not a problem,’ Fran carries on, as Ferris curls around my legs. ‘I assume your newboyfriendwill help you with it.’
I can’t help smiling. We haven’t spoken about anything serious, of course, but I’m sure he’s feeling what I’m feeling. And perhaps that’s enough for now.
‘I can’t believe he made you up an actual stocking for tomorrow,’ Fran carries on. ‘Jesus, I basically have to tell Toby what to get me.’
‘But then you do want very specific gifts, like that star sweater I went to ten shops for,’ I blurt out before I know what I’m saying.
She laughs. ‘God, yes!’
I stop because that just felt so strange – words falling out of my mouth like that, more than just a random memory of Emily’s this time. It was like the words had become a part of me.
‘Anyway,’ I say, breathlessly now, ‘how’s it going at your parents?’
‘Oh, you know, half-cut obviously, five Buck’s fizzes down already. But then the family flew in from Rome yesterday.’
Fran pauses. ‘Are you seeing yours at all?’
It’s strange because, if she and Emily are cousins, then why aren’t Emily’s parents included in this family get-together? Where are they?
‘I don’t think so,’ I say eventually.
Which is true – I haven’t heard from them after all.
‘Well, it’s no wonder after the argument you had. I still can’t believe what your mum said to you,’ Fran says.
I blink.
Didn’t Stella also have an argument with her mother before she went up north?
But I’m just overthinking it; jumping to the worst-case scenario like I always do.
‘Anyway,’ Fran continues, ‘do you think you might make it down to London sometime in the new year?’
My stomach flips. I’d like to meet Fran in person, of course I would, but now more than ever, I have absolutely no desire to leave Edinburgh, or Adam’s side. This is all I’ve ever wanted and I don’t want to let go for a second.
‘Perhaps,’ I say eventually, knowing how flaky it sounds.
Fran sighs. ‘You’re welcome to bring Adam obviously.’
I laugh at the persistence.
‘And if this is about seeing Simon again,’ Fran continues, ‘London is a big city, remember. It’s not like you’re just going to run into him again, so you can forget all about him.’
‘Right,’ I say, immediately feeling a little twinge of something odd in my chest at his name. I got another of those random messages the other day, which said,I miss you so much, Emily, can we please talk? xx. I still don’t know categorically that it’s Simon, but I’m not entirely convinced that I can do as Fran says and just put him out my mind.
‘I’ve got a question for you also,’ Fran says.
