Page 104 of Sad Girl Hours
Jenna’s smile is at full wattage now. “I hope so.”
I spend the next ten minutes pressing every detail I can out of Jenna before my own feelings slowly start creeping back in.
“What can I do to help?” Jenna says gently.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Probably nothing.”
“How about some fresh air?” she suggests. “We could go for a wander, get you out of your witch cave—”
It is a bit cave-y in here. I shut my curtains, lit candles and then called it a day.
“—maybe get some food, and then we can meet up with the others tonight if you want?”
“Not if Saffron’s going to be there,” I say quickly. “But yes to the rest of it.”
Jenna looks like she wants to say more than she does. “OK. Let’s just start with the walk and see how we get on.”
We walk down the hill, past all the streets of terraces waiting for their student inhabitants to return, down into town. We eatlunch at one of my favourite places, a veggie café tucked away in the attic above a wholefoods shop. Feeling full of good food does help dull the ache and I’m feeling sturdier in both body and spirit after Jenna and I pay the bill and head out to wander round town.
“That’s depressing,” Jenna says, nodding at a group of joggers going past.
“Uh-huh. Because God forbid you start your year off gently by being kind to yourself and taking notes from the bulbs in the ground by slowly preparing for things rather than bursting out before you’re ready and being greeted by something too cold and harsh for you.”
Jenna’s mouth purses into a completely straight line. “Sure. I was just going to call them smug bastards, but that works too. Even Casper’s been getting his exercise enrichment indoors at the minute. We did some dance videos the other day. The boy does a wicked Rasputin.”
I stop us in the street and turn to face her headon. “Look at you. You can’t help but grin when you talk about him. It’s so cute.”
“It’s revolting is what it is.” She somehow looks both grimandmoony. “I never set out to fall in love with Casper. The boy has strong opinions on trains, he has a board-game collection and he wears suncream every day even in winter because he’s pale as fuck. I mean, the boy isn’t just white, he isWhite. He’s named after a ghost for Christ’s sake.”
“You know, I made that joke once and he told me how he was actually named after his grandfather, ‘the third Casper in the Fortescue line, who was famous for his opposition to people whom opposed fox-hunting’.”
“Oh my God, that’s worse than the ghost thing. Nell, you see how that’s worse, right? Please tell me he didn’t actually use the word ‘whom’ too.”
“I … cannot tell you that.”
“Oh,GOD. I’m in love with a boy who uses the word ‘whom’.”
“Not correctly. If that helps?”
“NO, it does no— Oh, wait, weirdly it does a bit. I’d rather he was an idiot than a Tory.”
“Valid.”
We keep on walking. Jenna’s admiring a jumpsuit in one of Lancaster’s billion charity-shop windows when I hear my name.
“Nell?”
I turn round to see Becks, my tutor, heading towards us. “Happy New Year!” she says. “How were your holidays?”
I swallow. “Good, thanks. And you?”
“Fine, fine. I just wanted to come and tell you – very hush-hush, of course –” she taps her nose and looks around as though she’s checking for spies – “that you may be getting some good news in the not at all distant future.”
“Good news?”
“The shortlist for the poetry contest will be released in the next few days.”
Oh my God. I’d completely forgotten in all the chaos. And good news – that means…
