Page 15 of Sad Girl Hours
She wants to do this.
AndIwant to make her happy.
“All right,” I say. “Let’s do it.”
She flings her arms around in glee. “Really?”
I take a subtle breath in. “Really.” I try a little harder, plastering on a smile. “It’s a great idea. Like you said, it’ll help both of us out.”
“It’s going to be so much fun,” she says. “You’ll see.”
“I’m sure I will,” I lie.
“Right. I’m going to do some research first, make sure I’ve thought of everything I possibly can,” she says. “But we should meet one night next week to go over the list together and plan our first activities.”
“Sure. Sounds good.”
I return my attention to the rest of the group. Both Jenna and Vivvie have been focused on Nell and me respectively. Casper, of course, is just looking at Jenna with an expression that betrays both that he’s not been paying attention to our conversation and that he is adorably besotted with her.
I doubt I’ll ever be looked at like that. And I don’t want to be, not really. Obviously not by Casper, sweet boy though he is, but not by anyone else either. I’ve met people post-Melanie that I’ve been attracted to, maybe even that I’d be interested in romantically, but I don’t let it go further. Like when I met Nell, I asked her to dance with me. I began the year with her by my side, and a small part of my brain started to imagine what it might be like to let myself be loved by someone like her.
But Iamloved by her. We’re good friends. And staying that way is safest for everyone involved.
“Do you guys want to join in too?” I open it up to the group.
Vivvie and Jenna’s eyes flick to each other for the briefest of seconds.
“Nah,” Jenna says.
“We’re both going to be really busy this term,” says Vivvie.
“Coursework and rehearsals.”
“And a lot of overtime in the studio prepping for the show in January.”
“We could join you for a couple of things maybe, but you two should start planning things for just you. At least to start with.”
“All right.” I nod. “And you, Casper?”
“Huh?” He starts at his name. “Oh, no thanks. I think.” There’s a pause. “Could you repeat the question just so I’m sure, though?”
I explain the whole rigamarole again, aided by various excited interjections from Nell.
“Oh, that does sound fun,” Casper says. “I’d definitely—”
I may be mistaken but I think I see Jenna pinch Casper in the arm. Hard.
“—definitely like tohearall about your adventures.” He looks to Jenna. “I … also will have lots of coursework to do this term.”
Ah, I see. Jenna didn’t want Casper spending all his free time with us instead of her. I’m sure she’d never admit it, but it’s very sweet anyway.
“Just us then,” Nell says. “Shall we meet on Thursday evening? I’ve got a seminar in the afternoon but I should be done by six if you want to come to ours? I’ll provide dinner and present my ideas for the list to you if you’re amenable to such a plan.”
I’m always amenable, I think to myself.
“Sounds perfect,” I say to Nell.
Chapter Eight
