Page 36 of Sad Girl Hours
She just stares down at it. “For me,” she repeats.
“Uh-huh,” I say, starting to gather the mess of paper together. I pause, however, when Saffron doesn’t move. “You OK?”
“They’ve only met me properly once,” she says, brows knitted. “Why would they get me a present?”
“I dunno … because they know you’re one of my best friends and gift giving is their primary love language?”
Saffron swallows, picking the parcel up and turning it over in her hands. She’s much slower to unwrap than I am, carefully picking off the Sellotape and unfolding the paper. When she lifts off the lid, she finds a necklace with a gold sunflower at the end, which she holds up so it swings in the air.
“Oh, that’s perfect for you.” I smile. “You’re basically a human sunflower.”
“It’s pretty,” she says quietly. “Really pretty. I love it.” But though I do believe her, she doesn’tlooklike she loves anything right now.
I think she feels my gaze on her because she lifts her head, shakes back her golden curls and smiles. “Well, what an excellent haul you got. We got. What do you want to do now? We’ve still got ages until we’re allowed back at mine. They – well,Vivvie– said we were to arrive at five o’clock promptly so that we can get ready before guests arrive at six.”
“I know exactly what we do. We make the best hot chocolates we’ve ever had in our lives and then we get our craft on. Hard.”
“Sounds perfect,” Saffron says, fiddling with the clasp on her new necklace and lifting it round her neck, trying – and failing – not to get it tangled in her hair.
“Here.” I move towards her, lifting her hair out of the way and taking the necklace from her.
“Oh. Thanks.” I feel her neck stiffen when my fingers graze her skin as I do up the clasp.
“There you go!” I lean round to look at it, the flower nestled on her décolletage just above her loose white shirt, one shoulder of it slipping down. “Perfect.”
“Thank you,” she says again, twiddling the flower, drawing my attention to the fact that her chest is rising and falling pretty quickly.
I briefly acknowledge that she must be anxious and wonder why, before I remember that she wouldn’t tell me even if I asked.
Chapter Sixteen
Nell
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
We’re allowed back at Saffron, Viv and Casper’s mojo dojo casa house at five and are immediately greeted by our grinning friends proudly displaying their decorations and holding up a cake. Everything – the balloons, the banners, the icing on the cake – readsHappy 40th Birthday!
“Excellent work, lads,” I say, taking it all in. “Love the commitment to the theme.”
“Yes, thank you,” Saffron says, giving Vivvie a squeeze before turning back to me. “Can’t believe that combined we’re the age of one middle-aged woman.”
“We should get new names for the evening. I’ll be Sharon, you be Linda.”
“You’re not two forty-year-olds,” Casper interjects. “Just one.”
“Fine, then we’ll both be Sharon.” I address Saffron specifically now. “Happy Birthday, Sharon darling.”
“Happy Birthday, Sharon. It’s an honour toShareonthis special occasion with you.”
Vivvie looks at Saffron like she wants to kill her, while I look on with unabashed pride.
“Maybe youhavebecome the same person,” Jenna says. “That was alarmingly Nell-coded of you.”
“I’ve never been prouder of you, Sharon,” I add, and when she laughs I feel like all the glitter on the decorations around us sparkles even more.
An hour later and we’re both changed (Saffron into a beautiful yellow satin dress and crocheted cardigan – sunflower necklace still shining golden on her chest – me into a brown and orange seventies floral maxi with classic swooping sleeves) and the party is well and truly under way.
Given we spend the bulk of our time just with each other, we’ve acquired a rather large cumulative acquaintance. There are a few of my poetry-course mates and a few from the creative-writing modules I share with Jenna, a whole bunch of people from Saffron and Casper’s Athletics Club, and loads of Vivvie’s friends from her course that we met at the showcase at the end of last year. They’re an almost obnoxiously queer group, none of the minimalist straight girlies apparently allowed, and all of them are – naturally – in incredible outfits.
