Page 42 of Sad Girl Hours
I think back to Vivvie’s wedding-planner comment and feel a wave of warmth wash over me. I don’t know if she meantweshould call on her. As in … jointly. But if she did, she’s got the wrong end of the stick. Nell and I are just friends. Really good friends, but just friends nonetheless.
The same surely cannot be said for Jenna and Casp, who we eventually conclude must be in Casper’s bedroom, after checking everywhere else.
“Guys?” I knock gingerly on the door.
“Give it a bit more than that,” Vivvie says, thumping her fist on to the wood. “You have fifteen seconds to emerge from the room, preferably fully clothed, but at this point I’d settle for a Garden of Eden leaf situation. We’re late cutting the cake.”
There’s a pause before footsteps approach the door and Casper’s head appears in the crack. “Oh. Hi, guys! We were just—”
“Doing a jigsaw?” Nell says wearily.
“Yes,” Jenna says, pushing Casper through the door. “A thousand-piece one of a Jurassic landscape.”
“Ichthyosaurus not included,” Casper adds.
“Whatever.” Vivvie’s eyes roll. “Downstairs, vamos. It’s cake time.”
“Ah. Excellent.” Casper still looks a bit awkward. “Tick-tock, it’s sponge o’clock. And whatnot.”
Jenna rolls her eyes this time, lightly pushing him down the stairs.
I follow everyone down. On the way, I overhear Vivvie say something to Nell. “Sorry about Evie, by the way. They can be un poco intense.”
“That’s OK,” Nell answers quietly. “They were fine. I just…”
“Wasn’t in the mood?” Vivvie offers.
“No. You could say that.”
This must be why Nell went outside. No doubt Evie was being their usual pushy self – I’ve seen them hit on all kinds of people. Not me, thankfully. Inconsiderate and self-absorbed isn’t exactly my type, and I’m not dating anyway.
Back downstairs, Vivvie turns the lights off and emerges from the kitchen with our cake in one hand, and I spot Evie in the ring of people that gather round us singing ‘Happy Birthday’. Why do they have to be like that? My brain buzzes with a strange feeling of indignance that they would make Nell feel uncomfortable.
Nell leans her head on my shoulder, grinning round at everyone, the candles on our shared cake flickering amber on her face and lighting it up even more.
I hope she’s had a good day. Though I bet it would have been better without me dumping all my stuff on her outside.My throat clenches while I beam round at everyone as the last warbling notes are sung.
“HAAAA-PYBIRTHDAY TO YOU!”
Nell and I cut the cake while my stomach mangles all manner of unpleasant feelings together.
I’m so ungrateful. How could I burn the one thing my parents gave me for my birthday? How could I ruin Nell’s day by making a fuss about something that’s really not a big deal?
She’s still grinning, taking a massive bite of her slice of cake – carrot cake, her favourite. And the one I pretended was mine too when the guys asked, even though lemon was my real answer.
But Nell being happy, that’s mytruefavourite. I don’t care what kind of cake I get. So why did I darken her day and make her worry about me?
It won’t happen again, I think, taking a bite of carrot cake myself and trying not to betray a wince when I hit a raisin. I won’t let it.
Chapter Nineteen
Nell
“Where are you off to?” Jenna asks. She’s lounging on the sofa the Friday after the party, a book of monologues open in her lap, while I pour the remains of my pumpkin-spiced latte from my pumpkin-shaped mug into my autumn-leaf travel mug. (I have a strong person brand/special interest to maintain, OK?)
“I’ve got a meeting with my tutor about my first ten poems, then I think I’m grabbing lunch with Saffron after her lecture.”
Jenna closes her book, watching me pull on my best stompin’ boots. “How’s the great autumn bucket list going? It seems like you’re both having a good time.”
