Page 96 of Sad Girl Hours

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You ask me what I am and…

I can write for hours about the sun and the sky and the woods and the water that runs through them

I have come to realise that

I have words for everything

but this.

I cannot give you a single word to encompass this vortex

of feeling

of passion…

I simply

do not know.

I do know, however, that I am in love with this woman.

I love her like the waves love the shore

gentle

inevitable

wearing me away with the swell of it.

It’s almost too much

this love

(almost)

I love her body, her brain, her energy

I love her.

There is no question mark

Just an ellipsis…

Ever trailing on…

Ushering in the future…

following on from the past…

I have no word for what I am

so do not ask me.

I have infinite words for how much I love her

so please ask me.

I shall fetch you some tea while I rhapsodise

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