Page 97 of Sad Girl Hours
about this woman
this magnificent woman.
Forgive my lack of brevity
but, in a way, this is better, right?
To have so much to say about her
It conjures a much more vivid picture of who I am (a person who loves her)
than a single word ever could.
“Nell…” She puts my phone down in the space next to us. “It’s beautiful.”
“You’rebeautiful.”
There are tears glittering on her eyelashes. And, I think, on mine too.
“I’m a mess,” she says, and I know she doesn’t just mean right now.
“Me too,” I say. “Aren’t we all?”
“And you’re sure?” she asks.
“Never been more sure about anything.”
Her next words almost stop my heart.
“All right then.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
And that’s when she kisses me.
Chapter Forty-six
Saffron
I’ve tried to be perfect my whole life. And I’ve always felt like I’ve come up short.
But right now, as Nell puts her hand up to cup my cheek, gentle at first and then pulling me in tighter in a way that makes my entire body feel weak, her lips moving against mine, I feel distinctlymagnificent.
I rise up a little, positioning myself better so I can have my hands on her, in her hair, sliding down her arm, anywhere – I just need to be touching her. I’ve waited long enough.
I move my hand to her waist, slipping it under her silk shirt so I can hold her tightly there and touch her skin. She lets out a gasp as my fingers make contact with her.
It would be enough for me, to see her like this –hearher like this – but Nell seems to take this as a challenge, pushing me back down until I collide with the wall, then sliding as close as she possibly can, her hands touching my cheeks, running down my neck, her palm sliding down between my collarbones until it gets to the neckline of my dress, which she hooks her fingers into and drags me forward to meet her mouth once more.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” she says, breaking away from me. I want to pout for a second, but then I see the way she’s looking at me.
“If it’s anywhere near as long asI’vewanted to do this, then yes, I do,” I say, looking right back into those perfect eyesthat are screaming that they want me, and hoping mine are screaming the same back. “Fake New Year’s Eve, last year.”
Nell draws back a little. “Wait, really? That very first night?”
“That very first night,” I confirm. “Why, when did you…”
