Page 25 of Rescue
Chapter 13
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Penelope
I’m anxious, flustered, and afraid he’s going to see right through me. I’m not ready for another relationship. Hell, my ex doesn’t even believe I’m single. I’m not ready for another man who’s going to tell me to give up my dreams to settle down and make his babies. I’m not ready for someone to decide my life again. I think I’m going to hyperventilate and ruin all of mine and Amy’s hard work.
We did some great work today. Amy did my hair and nails while I made sure every square inch of my body was soft and smooth and my makeup was just right. I know he said casual, but I had to make sure I looked my best. It’s been a while since I’ve done this and I wanted to make sure I did it right.
Before Spencer, I did my fair share of dating. I had a couple not so serious boyfriends in high school, no one too interesting, and then a couple dates with some guys after that in culinary school. But it’s been years since I’ve been out with someone new and I’m just not sure I know how to behave.
“Girl, stop freaking out. It’s going to be fine.”
“I know. I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
“It’s a little late for that now, isn’t it?” She makes a great point, but I’m not ready to hear logic right now. I look at the clock. I’ve got 30 minutes before he’s supposed to be here to pick me up. My stomach does a crazy flip and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I need a distraction.
“Come have a glass of wine with me and relax,” Amy says from the couch next to the roaring fire. “It’s all going to work out and there’s no sense stressing about it.” We’ve been downstairs since I finished getting ready. I came down to her making herself at home with a bottle of wine and a throw blanket. “Is it cool with you if I hang out here for a while after you leave? This fire is just too cozy for me to move.”
“Of course. Stay as long as you want.”
“That’s the plan,” she says as she fills a glass of wine for me, and then tops hers off as well. Now that the wine is poured, she settles in nice and comfy on the couch. I love that she knows me so well, and that she feels comfortable making herself at home in my spaces. That’s the mark of true friendship I think, learning to be relaxed with each other.
I check the clock for what feels like the millionth time and satisfied that we have a good thirty minutes before Miles will be here, I grab the glass of wine Amy poured for me and sit on the opposite end of the couch. “So,” I start, giving Amy my best ‘fess up’ look, “since we’ve got the time, what happened between you and Brody?”
She visibly tenses, rolls her eyes and groans at me. “Really? That’s what you want to talk about 30 minutes before your date tonight?”
I can tell she’s trying to put me off, she’s been avoiding this subject since I got home, but I’m not going to be deterred. For some reason, something always comes up, and tonight’s the night she’s going to spill her guts.
“Yes, really! Come on, Ames, you have to give me something!” I say, my eyes wide, imploring her to tell me what really happened. “You and Brody were almost closer than you and me before I left, but when I come back a few years later you can’t get away from him fast enough.” I’m well and truly worked up now, my pitch seeming to rise with each word. “I thought you guys were going to end up together. You’re perfect for each other.” I’m not exaggerating. They’ve always been complementary opposites. Brody is quiet and brooding and Amy is light and laughter. They bring out the best in each other and it’s baffling to me that they don’t even speak to each other now.
She winces a little and then shakes her head a little as if what I’m saying doesn’t make sense. “I don’t know what ever gave you that idea. Brody was never interested in me romantically.” She’s calm and, if I’m reading her correctly, a little depressed, her eyes staring down into her wine glass.
“Something must have happened though. Tell me why you guys stopped talking.” Maybe if she tells me the whole story I’ll understand better, because based on what I remember they were one kiss away from something really good.
“There’s not much to tell really. After graduation, we all set out on different paths. You moved to the city to start culinary school, I started taking some business classes at the community college and the twins started taking EMT classes there as well. They couldn’t become firefighters until they were 21 so they started working on their experience as first responders. Brody and I stayed close, but in all those years, he never once made a move. I tried so hard to get him to notice me, touching him even when it wasn’t necessary, sitting too close, even when there was plenty of room, and not once did he ever encourage me. He never touched me back, he never sought me out, and he never took advantage of the opportunities I bent over backward to set up. I feel so dumb now looking back on how I acted trying to get him to notice me.
One night he and I were the last left standing, as usual, at a party at their house. We had been drinking, but at that point neither of us were drunk anymore. I was helping him to clean up the mess, and we both grabbed the same beer bottle at the same time. When he looked up to apologize our eyes locked. I leaned into him, but right before we kissed he got this strange look on his face and moved away from me. I was so embarrassed. Here I’ve been damn near in love with the man for years and he can’t bear to even kiss me!
After that, for me at least, the spell was broken. I realized that something about me wasn’t what he wanted, and you know what? It just wasn’t meant to be. That’s ok. I really thought that we could have had something special, but I’ve moved on. I can’t just sit around waiting for him to see me when he just doesn’t.”
By the time she finishes her story she has tears in her eyes and so do I. I don’t know what happened with Brody that night, but I don’t think it’s as cut and dry as Amy is making it seem. There has to be a reason why he never made a move on her.
“That’s so weird. I swear in high school he looked at you like you were his reason for existing. It was almost obsessive. I thought for sure that you guys would be married with babies by now. In fact, Bryant and I used to joke about it.”
“Yeah, well, someone forgot to tell Brody about this ‘obsession’. For a while, I really did think he was into me, but suddenly it was like some kind of switch flipped and we went from seeing each other every day or two, to him practically ghosting me. I swear one day I saw him duck and hide from me in the grocery store. I don’t know what I did to him, but I deserve better than that. We used to be best friends and now he can’t even wave from across the store? I’m honestly just sorry I wasted so much time on him. It was cool to be friends as kids I guess, but now? I don’t know who he even is.”
“Wow, I’m really sorry that happened. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone you called a friend.” I put my wine down and lean across the couch to give her a hug. She hugs me back and I can’t help but worry about her.
“It’s ok, girl. I got over it and I’m not going to let it bother me anymore. I wasted too many nights crying over Brody Carter. There’s someone out there who will treat me the way I deserve, and eventually he’ll find me. I just know it.” She gives me a big smile, but I can see the sadness that she’s trying to hide.
She’s right of course. She’s an amazing woman and is going to make some man very lucky. I’m glad she knows it.
Just then I see some headlights pan across the parking lot and come to a stop in front of the cafe door. That must be Miles. I look up at the clock and see he’s 5 minutes early. I take one last sip of my wine and set it back down on the table. “Ok now, no stressing,” Amy says in her best mom voice. “Everything is going to be fine! Have a great night and don’t let yourself think too much!” She gives me an encouraging smile from her nest on the couch.
I look down to make sure everything is in place. I’m wearing a sleeveless burgundy summer dress that Amy let me borrow, but since it’s chilly this evening I paired it with some of my own black tights and a black cardigan with little gold buttons. The cardigan is hanging open, but I can button it up if it gets too cold. I don’t know what we’re doing so I hope I dressed ok. No time to change now anyways so I guess I need to just let it go. I smooth down my dress and move to open the door just as Miles is knocking.
When he walks in, our eyes meet and all my anxiety evaporates. He’s dressed in jeans and a long sleeve gray henley with a dark green fleece vest which just so happens to compliment his eyes. I think they’re blue, but they might be gray. His dark hair is lightly styled, but not in an obnoxious way. He looks handsome and outdoorsy, and I’m struck by how different he and Spencer really are, how much more at ease I feel with Miles. I gasp when his scent wafts in with the wind behind him, my senses in overload at the woodsy cologne mixed with something I can’t quite put my finger on, but it’s addicting.
