Page 46 of Rescue
Chapter 22
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Miles
I somehow make the drive home, though if you quizzed me on what I saw while I was doing it, I’m sure I’d fail. I go inside and immediately go to the spare bedroom that I put all of Caroline’s things in when I moved in. It takes me a few minutes to find what I need, but I quickly gather them and head back out to my truck.
As I make my way into town, I can see it starting to come back to life after the havoc from last night. The storm has mostly blown through, leaving a much gentler wind and some lingering clouds. The plow has been through the main roads and I can see people outside clearing the snow off their cars and getting a late start to the day.
I pull up to the store and park in my usual spot. I don’t have long to question my actions because I can see the just person I am looking for walking between cabins in the lot next to us. I grab the box of things I brought and jump out, calling out as I do so I don’t miss him. “Mr. Callahan!”
He stops walking and looks up at me, surprise written across his face. I jog over to where he stands, and for the first time since the accident, I look him in the eye. “I have a few things I’d like to say to you and Mrs. Callahan,” I say as I gesture towards the box, “and I brought some things I thought you’d like to see.”
As he looks down at the box with a myriad of feelings playing across his face: surprise, curiosity, and anger, to name a few. He quickly controls his features and looks back up at my face, giving away nothing. “Come with me then,” he says. Then he turns around and heads for the main office.
The Callahans had been long time close family friends as far back as I can remember. It’s probably why Caroline and I were so close. We grew up together and our families were very happy to see us getting closer. They were all very supportive of our relationship and it was no secret that an engagement was coming soon.
But things between our families were strained after she passed away. I could barely bring myself to leave the house, never mind think of how her family must be dealing with this loss. I didn’t handle it very well, and they deserve an apology. I wish her parents could be here to hear this as well.
Caroline wasn’t an only child. She has an older brother that moved to San Diego for college. He liked it so much that he stayed there after graduating. After the accident, her parents decided to move out there too, to be closer to him and his family. I know the Callahans would like to join their family in San Diego, but their business is holding them back.
When we enter the main office, I’m reminded of how things went the last time I was in here. We go through the lobby into the main office where Mrs. Callahan is, sitting at the desk working on something on the computer. She looks up when she sees us come in and does a double take when she sees I’m with her husband.
“Miles,” she says, clearly startled but trying to be polite, “how can we help you?”
“As I told Mr. Callahan, I have a few things for you.” I lift the box a little to bring her attention to it. “And I’d like to say something to you both. If you don’t mind, that is.”
“Have a seat,” she says, gesturing towards one of the chairs. I take a seat, and Mr. Callahan sits down next to me. I have to applaud their manners. If it were me, I don’t know if I could be so gracious.
I want to look down at my feet as I try find the strength to say what I need to say, but I bring myself to look both of them in the face. “I want to start off first by saying that I’m sorry I didn’t come by sooner. I know we talked business a few weeks ago, but I should have come long before that.” I clear my throat, struggling with the right words.
“I’ve carried a lot of guilt about what happened that day in the backcountry. I could give you excuses, tell you that Caroline had been begging to go, or about how much I felt like I really needed the experience that day to further my skiing career, but that’s all they would be. I didn’t come here to give you excuses.” I pull in a deep breath as I look into the kind eyes of Mrs. Callahan, then turn my head to Mr. Callahan. “I’m deeply sorry for my part in what happened to Caroline. She was my world. I would have done everything to protect her. I should have. I’ve thought about that day so many times. I couldn’t get to her, I couldn’t save her, and I’m so sorry.” I break down crying and put my head in my hands. I don’t want to see the looks on their faces. I can’t bear to see the shame and anger I know will be directed at me.
I’m startled out of my grief by a hand on my shoulder. I hear some shuffling and then feel another on the other side. I look up and see that neither of their faces are twisted with malice and hate, which is what I deserve. Both of them are looking back at me with somber compassion.
Mr. Callahan wipes his eyes and then clears his throat, “Son, neither of us or our daughter and son have ever blamed you for what happened that day, but it does an old man’s heart some good to hear you apologize. I know I am speaking for both my wife and my kids when I say that we just want you to be happy. We’re so thankful two lives weren’t lost that day. We’ve wanted to tell you that for a long time. But I guess, like you, we never really did follow through with that.”
He looks out the window, lost in thought. “Don’t torture yourself, Miles. It was out of your control. We know how much you loved our girl,” Mrs. Callahan says with tears in her eyes. We’re all wrestling with our emotions, working hard to keep the past firmly in the past, though it doesn’t seem content to stay there this morning.
“I brought a few things. I realized after she was gone how much she had filled our small apartment with all things ‘Caroline,’” I say with a small smile, remembering how excited she had been to decorate our first place together. “After a while, those things felt like they were choking me, so I started putting them away. I always meant to ask her parents, and you guys, if you wanted anything, but I got so wrapped up in my own pain that I never reached out. I thought you all would want this.” I recognize, almost belatedly, that I’m holding onto the box with a vice grip, my knuckles almost white. I let out a deep breath and unclench, handing the box over to Mr. Callahan.
“It’s not much, but it was hers. Her jewelry, and the little trinkets she collected from all over the place.” I stop to clear my throat again as my eyes fill with tears. I’m doing my best to keep in. “I wanted you guys to have it. I couldn’t even think about donating it.”
“Thank you, Miles. I know her parents are going to love getting these pieces of her. Thank you for taking such good care of it all this time.” Mrs. Callahan says.
“It’s the least I can do,” I say, and I mean it. I’m not doing anything extraordinary, just what any person with a conscience would do. “Anyways, I just wanted to stop by and give you guys those things. I don’t want to take up any more of your time,” I say as I stand and start to make my way to the door.
I see Mrs. Callahan shoot Mr. Callahan a look over my shoulder, and then suddenly Mr. Callahan is standing and setting the box in his vacated chair. “Now hold on just a minute, son. I wanted you to know that we’ve thought a lot about your offer. I know you’ve taken over the sporting goods store for your daddy, and I think you’ve done a real good job with the business since you’ve been back. I thought your presentation was put together real well and I could tell that you worked hard on it. I appreciate that. You see, we don’t want to sell our business to just anyone. For a long time, we thought our kids would take over and then they would pass it down to their kids. But after the tragedy on the mountain, our kids just couldn’t stand to be here anymore. Everywhere they looked they saw the ghost of their beautiful daughter, and who could blame them? She grew up climbing all over this mountain. With you, in fact.”
He looks back out the window that opens out over the property, and when he turns back around, I can see tears in his eyes.
“When we got your offer, I admit, it was a surprise. I just couldn’t see how we could trust our business with you when our families had so much going unspoken between us. After talking with you this morning, I can see that you’re still the man we thought you were all those years ago. A smart, strong, respectful, and respectable man that we would be proud to have carrying on our legacy here. If your offer still stands, we would love to take you up on it. This place just doesn’t hold the joy for us that it once did, and it’s time we move on.”
When I came here this morning, I never imagined it would go this well. I nod and shake Mr. Callahan’s hand when he offers it. We talk about business for a few minutes before I walk back out to my truck. I feel a thousand pounds lighter, but not as settled as I’d thought I would feel.
When I get in, I just sit there for a second, absorbing what just happened and trying to figure out what I should do next. I feel a little lost and restless, like all the progress I just made isn’t enough. I would usually go for a drive, but the roads are probably not safe enough for that right now. It’s warming up, and the plow has been through, but Penelope’s accident is still fresh on my mind and I don’t want to do anything reckless.
I make the short drive through town, fully intending to just go home for a shower, when I see the road that will take me to my spot. Without really thinking it through I make the turn, almost instantly worried about the conditions of this backroad that the plow doesn’t service. My truck is tough though, and I make it more than halfway to the lookout before I have to stop. I decide to bundle up and make the hike. I always keep some hiking boots and a parka in the truck for moments like this.
