Page 32 of Eco-Activist's Mountain Men
“You should get it done. It’d suit you.”
“Yeah… maybe I will.”
The conversation falters. But there’s something I need to ask. Something heavy is pressing on me.
“Toby.”
“What?”
“What did… this mean to you?”
“You mean being with you just now?”
“Yes.”
“Well… it meant a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Really.”
“Because… because you’ve been with a lot of women, right?”
“Wouldn’t say a lot exactly. But okay, some. Yes.”
“Oh, come on, you’re always making out like you’re some big ladies’ man. You telling me that’s just an act?”
He laughs.
“Fair enough. Okay, I’ve had my fair share. Maybe more than my fair share. Happy now? Come on, what are you really asking, Luna?”
“I guess… I want to know what it meant to you. What I mean to you. Am I just another notch on the bedpost? Because if so, I can deal with that. Or am I something more? Am I really your princess, like you keep calling me… or just the girl who happened to be here and available?”
The words stick in my throat, but I push them out anyway.
“I just want to know, before…”
“Before what?”
“Before I allow myself to open up. Start feeling things that might be pointless if it’s just a fling for you. No pressure, I just… want to know.” My cheeks burn hot.
“I… see.” He falls silent. I wait a minute, two. Still nothing.
“Well? What are you waiting for?”
“Oh—sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Thinking about what?”
“About you and me, and… how weird the world is.”
“Yes, I do know. But for fuck’s sake, Toby, just give me a straight answer.”
“Okay, okay.” He scratches his neck, fiddles with a ring on his finger. “Honestly, Luna… yes, you’re right. I’ve been with women, and I never really took any of them seriously. It was just fun, you know?”
I nod. Just as I thought. A player. Why do I always get the assholes?
“But… well…” He exhales hard. “In truth, I think you might be different.”
