Page 40 of The Rest is History
‘There was no proper evidence,’ I repeat. I pause to let it sink in. ‘Cromwell had concocted a case against these people based on smoke and mirrors, a lot of hearsay, and some incredibly jammy timing. Aside from Mark Smeaton, no one ever admitted adultery. And it’s extremely likely that he was tortured, or at least put under extreme psychological pressure to confess. The poor kid was likely terrified. But let’s think about the logistics of a queen having an affair. How do you think it would work?’
There are a few furtive glances and smirks.
I sigh. ‘I said logistics, not mechanics.’
‘She wouldn’t have had much privacy,’ Dan says. ‘She would have had to get her ladies-in-waiting involved, surely.’
‘Exactly right, Dan. And Cromwell couldn’t find a single lady-in-waiting to give evidence. Actually, they all transitioned to waiting on Jane Seymour after Anne’s death, so there was no black mark against any of them. I’m telling you, a queen’s chambers were not a private place. There’s no way she could have smuggled lovers in without cooperation from her ladies.’
We spend a good thirty minutes going over the flakiness of the evidence, laughing at the fact that Anne supposedly cheated four weeks after Elizabeth’s birth. She would still have been in confinement then. And after we’ve torn the evidence to shreds, I turn the conversation to Anne.
‘Where did she sabotage herself? What could she have done differently? Which were the factors beyond her control, and where did she go wrong? Because whatever her sins were, they weren’t treasonous, that’s for sure.’
I sit against the front of Charlie’s desk and preside over an uproar as the kids debate the laxness of Anne’s court, the blurring of boundaries, and the likeliness of the rumours that jokes to which rumoured jokes over Henry’s lack of sexual prowess abounded.
We then cover off the factors over which Anne had zero control: the international picture. Cromwell’s need to bring the Seymour faction to ascension while ensuring that Henry continued to deny his daughter Mary’s legitimacy. The covert tactics he used to assemble Parliament in advance of any actual strike against Anne. The way he so effectively played to Henry’s greatest complexes and refused royal access to any of the Boleyn faction.
The coup was as much of a shit-show as it was a masterpiece.
I tell the class about Anne’s final indignity—that Henry had their marriage legally dissolved, and Elizabeth’s legitimacydissolved alongside it, a couple of days before he had her executed.
Oh, and Henry married Jane Seymoureleven daysafter Anne’s head was severed from her body.
I swear a few of the girls get weepy.
‘So it was all for nothing?’ Tallulah asks. ‘Because if the marriage was never valid in the first place, then she didn’t commit adultery after all, and he didn’t have to have her killed. That’s sofucking stupid.’
This is not the moment to pull her up for swearing. The lesson has made its point, and I can see it sinking in as I look around the room at the pissed-off faces.
I give them all a sad, defeated smile. ‘Exactly.’
CHAPTER 16
Charlie
Because today’s been an odd twilight zone of dozing, I need to get out of the house. The nausea’s gone, I haven’t vomited for over twelve hours, and I’ve even managed a piece of toast. I’m shaky, but otherwise well on the road to recovery, as I drive the short distance to my brother’s place.
Jack’s technically my half-brother, but despite our different surnames, we don’t think of it that way. Jack was seven when I was born. He has no memory of his dad, who died of cancer when he was a toddler, though he kept his original surname (Fisher) in memory of his dad, a move I’ve always thought was a pretty cool thing to do.
Tonight, he’s hosting a family barbecue, for no reason other than the fact that it’s a warm Friday evening and it’s an easy way for him to process his large and chaotic family.
Jack’s family was chaotic even before he remarried. He has four kids with his ex, Stacey. She’s got herself two more via her second husband, Ariel. Jack married Emmy, who was already pregnant by someone else when she met him. So Jack took on another guy’s kid and decided to knock Emmy up again for good measure.
You keeping up?
Emmy’s sister, Rosa, should be there too, with her husband David and their daughters. Tallulah, who I suppose is some kind of distant relation to me by marriage, is in my A Level History class with my niece, Martha. They’re thick as thieves and good kids, for the most part, though Tallulah has a nose for trouble.
Oh, and don’t ask me how many dogs and horses Jack has. I lost count years ago.
In other words, it’ll be mayhem, but I need a little cheering up after my day of wretched isolation.
Besides, I want to ask the girls how their History lesson went.
If anywhere can handle mayhem, it’s Jack’s place. He lives in what can only be described as a compound. Behind massive gates stands a huge house—The Lodge—which is a gorgeous old converted barn with serious wow factor. The offices for both his software company and his non-profit sit in the same grounds, as do various stables and out-houses.
The splashes, synchronised with shrieks of delight, carry from the pool as soon as I open my car door. When I get out back, it’s as if there’s a mini festival going on. There’s a slip-and-slide leading directly into the pool—that’ll explain the screams, then. Soaking children and adolescents dash around the enormous lawn. I know my brother has a lot of kids, but I’m pretty sure there are a few extras here tonight.
Emmy spots me first. Let me say at this point that however bad my luck with women has been, my brother’s has been good. He’s had two knockout wives, who get on brilliantly, and he and Stacey maintain a fantastic relationship. I don’t know how the jammy bugger does it.
