Page 30 of In Just a Year
She blinked a tear away and Raphi offered her his handkerchief. It was embroidered with theKuf, the Hebrew letter that started the name Klonimus, same as their letterhead.
“He wants to earn his place in the Diamond Dynasty. He’s trying to make you proud and bring you a treasure from far away.”
Ether shook her head in denial. The very reason that kept him from her was the reason he wasn’t coming back? It made no sense and yet, it explained everything. She had to help him to return.
CHAPTER14
A letter from Calcutta, 2 weeks later…
Dear Esther,
I finally received a stack of letters from you, and I must admit, I did not read them in order. Some of your letters made me laugh out loud but others wounded me deeply. Please don’t ever question my devotion and the truth of what I said. It was a grave mistake to withhold my feelings for so long. I miss you so much, Esther.
Everything is so different here, and I imagine telling you about the flavors, the scents, the heat, but when I want to put it to paper, it falls short of telling you in person. I should have told you everything in person and I should have done so much sooner. I should have kissed you earlier, but I should have asked for your permission, and I should have never left you when I had you in my arms, for I now fear I may return empty-handed.
B.
Dear Ben,
You are with me in every breath I take.
Every time my heart beats, I know that a little bit of time passes. The year will be over and our time together shall begin … or dare I say continue?
E.
A letter from Mombasa, 6 1/2 weeks later…
Dear Esther,
I often lie awake and think about how far I have gone when I climbed into your room. If I went too far, please tell me.
B.
Dearest Ben,
You have gone too far, for I can only reach you in India with these letters. But if you ask about how far you’ve gone in person, you’ve come far and not gone too far. I mustn’t say what I wish you’d done but I dare hope you will upon your return.
E.
A letter from Bombay, 5 weeks later…
Dear Esther,
When I’m not there, do as you’d like me to. And when I’m back, tell me how and I’ll do it.
B.
Esther dropped onto her bed and clutched the letter to her chest. She tried to put the letters in the order they were sent rather than received. Heat rose to her face as she re-read them. It grew more and more wicked every time she imagined Ben penning it from the ship and sending it off from a crowded post office in some distant place, or was she imagining the double-meaning of his missives? Were his words nothing but a mirage of her lonely heart, or had he implied something entirely different than she dared to admit?
She shut her eyes fast and thought of her Ben, for he wasn’t just one of the Klonimus brothers anymore. The Ben she’d known her entire life was now the man she longed for. He became a burn in her entire body and a constant in her thoughts. She arched her back and blinked her eyes open. The window through which he’d climbed the night before his departure caught her eyes and her lips swelled at the memory.
He’d pushed her against the wall right where the side table ended that now held a vase of flowers. Esther licked her lips, warm and tender. She sucked her lower lip in and then let it slide back through her front teeth. Ben had smiled against her mouth, and she’d felt his large front teeth, cool and oh-so delicious. Esther hugged herself and thought of Ben’s words.
Do yourself as you’d like me to.
Whatever could he mean?
A shiver ran down her belly and she arched her back again. Plopped back on her pillow, she pulled the corner of the covers away. Rolled up, they were in the way of her … she twitched again. Theywerein the way.
