Page 48 of The Scent of Intuition
I want that, too.
And when Pippa said nothing could bring two people closer than to hold one another after reaching their climaxes, Bea was ready to storm out and request precisely that. Of course she wouldn’t; that was not how she’d been brought up. Without a proposal from a titled gentleman, she couldn’t even begin to consider it… and yet, that was exactly why she itched to do the unexpected. She’d had enough of the rules of the Ton that made her lock her feelings up… Alfie did the opposite, unleashing her essence in a way nobody else ever had. She felt as though she’d known him a lifetime and could be more open with him than even Pippa.
And there was the problem. When she thought about where to run and ask, it was merely down the hall to the first door on the right and not to a castle in a faraway country.
But then Pippa took both of Bea’s hands as they’d done as little girls when they shared secrets. When it was just them, justafter Pippa’s mother had died and Bea’s parents had sailed off to Singapore.
“It’s precious and strong. Don’t get me wrong, dear, it’s marvelous. But there’s something you need to know.” Pippa pulled Bea closer. “This doesn’t work if you don’t love him. And he must love you, too.”
Must imagine Stan in Alfie’s place.Bea repeated the thought in her mind, hoping it would take root and overgrow the images of what she didn’t dare admit to herself.
Bea’s eyes shot from Pippa’s left to her right and back several times. “The mechanics work.”
“Not the feelings.”
“B-but…”
“Hear me out, please. If you close your eyes and imagine it, it’s more chaste than when you do it. The act can turn into a wild fumbling, and the heat of the moment is overwhelming for all of your senses. So make sure you see yourself with the man who can give you all thatandhis heart. My darling cousin, you deserve all the pleasures and every level of intimacy, but it has to feel right. You won’t have anywhere to hide in the heat of the act.” Pippa slowed down at the last few words and squeezed Bea’s hands gently for emphasis.
Bea swallowed hard. She closed her eyes and imagined. She’d have a wedding under the sparkling chandeliers and a dress with so many layers that she’d feel like a blossom swirling on the parquet. And when her groom, in a narrowly-tailored frock, picked her up and carried her to a room with elegant bedding and a fire crackling in the hearth, she’d let desire reign free.
She didn’t want to hide.
And as she imagined the scene, her groom held her tightly and gave her a warm smile.
It was Alfie—the prince of her heart and not the prince of a country. She had enough of the exhausting superficiality of theTon and Society’s rules. She’d follow her own heart and rules from now on. All she had to do was figure out how.
Chapter Twenty
Alfie returned tothe kitchen to boil water and clean his beakers when he heard dishes clattering. As soon as he walked in, he knew he should turn around and leave her alone before she saw him.
“Oh, hello!” Bea looked over her shoulder with a shy smile, one so sweet Alfie’s insides cringed as his body went hard, and his brain liquefied as if she’d melted his resolve. She was irresistible, and he wanted to be close to her as much as he wanted to breathe air.
Pippa had warned him, and he knew he should speak with her, but this wasn’t like the other times. He couldn’t find a few smooth lines to convince her to let him kiss her. If he did kiss her, he’d lose his heart forever. Perhaps he already had. He wasn’t sure, but he knew this was unchartered territory for him.
“Bea!” Alfie said, immediately chastising himself for not being more courteous. What he should do was bow to her and return to his apothecary. Or better, lock himself in his bedchamber until she was gone so he wouldn’t have wicked thoughts near the virtuous and most definitely virginal aristocratic lady who was—what was she doing?
“I wanted to put these back,” Bea said as she used the hand towel to wipe the rims of the teacups. Did she know how to dry dishes?
She has servants for these tasks.
“Why are you cleaning the cups in our kitchen?” Alfie asked, and she flinched.
She closed her eyes momentarily and inhaled as if she had to restore her courage. Then she sniffled. “I spoke to Pippa, and then she had to leave. Given that there were no maids or footmen to call on, I thought I should tidy the kitchen up before I leave.”
Alfie didn’t believe her. A lady didn’t just clean up other people’s kitchens; they didn’t even clean their own. Judging from most ladies of the Ton he’d met—and he knew many, including their secrets—they probably didn’t know where their teacups went after use.
“Why are you still here?” he asked.
Bea looked intently at a cup in her hand, polishing the handle as if it were a diamond set in gold. “Perhaps Pippa will need me for the wedding plans when she returns.”
“Didn’t she go to the new house with Nick?”
“Yes-s-s?” Bea drew the word out as if she dragged her feet toward a poorly conceived lie.
“So they won’t be back today.”
Reading between the lines was one of the skills an apothecary honed over the years. When patients spoke of symptoms, they tended to leave out the most embarrassing bits or lie about the sources of the infection or injury. Simply put, Alfie could detect when people lied to him, and Bea was not telling him the truth about why she was there.
