Page 11 of Collin: Episodes 13-15
Collin tapped his tablet against his chin and pulled his knees up against his chest. “I’m struggling with needing and wanting two things that seem exclusionary. I want to be your kitten, your s-sex kitten.” He stumbled over his words but pulled himself together. “I want to be your toy, your art. And yesterday, that’s all I was thinking about. But today, I also want to be Collin, the man who goes on to get a degree and wears a suit and is respected. And I know, I know, that you both respect me. I know Damian respects me. But it feels like a slippery slope where I won’t want to come back one day, or I won’t be able to come back because I went too far and became something else. How do I hold both extremes inside of me? How can I be your milk boy and a sustainability engineer?” He pulled his hands apart, spreading them palms up, as if he were holding the scales of justice.
Mr. Reevesworth and Mr. Moreau traded looks.
“There are good questions,” Mr. Moreau said. “And the simple answer is because you can. You have one part of you with certain people in certain places and other parts of you with other people and in other places. But this probably goes deeper than that.”
Collin nodded. “It feels like that should be enough of an answer, but…it also feels like I’m missing something.”
Mr. Reevesworth reached for his phone. “Let’s see if Matthew can come back with Damian early for breakfast. While I have answers for you, answers that combine with how I’ve lived my life when I submitted to Franklin, Matthew can give you a lived experience of a fully submissive man better. This is why community is important.”
Matthew was taller than Collin expected, as tall or taller than Mr. Reevesworth and Mr. Moreau. He had laugh lines around his eyes. He looked closer to forty or forty-five than Damian’s thirty-something. There were white and gray flecks at his temples. Around his neck was a beautiful silver Star of David pendent on a strong matching chain. The tint of the silver complimented his eyes and hair. He carried himself easily, his long slender form defined by runner’s muscles and the shoulders of a climber.
He had his bag with him, and he and Damian were both still sweaty from the indoor track.
“Sir, Master Émeric.” He nodded to first one, then the other, and then smiled and held his hand out to Collin. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s good to finally meet.”
After so many weeks, seeing Matthew was like coming face-to-face with a legend. This man had been Mr. Reevesworth’s submissive years before Collin had even been of legal age. He swallowed and held out his hand in response. “Thank you for coming.”
Matthew’s smile brightened his entire face. “I’m told you have questions. Sir”—he looked to Mr. Reevesworth—“may Collin come with me to clean up?”
“Of course.” Mr. Reevesworth waved Matthew inside. “Use the master bath. Collin will find you extra towels.”
Matthew knew the layout of the apartment. He headed straight for the master bedroom. Collin trailed in his wake.
Artemis met Matthew at the door of the bedroom with a meow and accepted three pets as her due before gliding down the hallway toward the smell of Mr. Moreau preparing breakfast.
Matthew went directly into the bathroom and started stripping down.
Collin dropped his eyes and hurried to the cabinet for a towel and washcloth. He put the towel over the warming rod and the washcloth in the shower. “Um…I’ll be just outside.”
“No need unless I make you uncomfortable?” Matthew looked up from where he was pulling off his running socks. “I thought we could talk. Damian said you have questions about how all this works.”
Collin blushed crimson. “I mean, I do, but you’re showering. I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re going to see me naked someday.” Matthew pulled off his shirt. He wore a second light silver chain around his neck, nothing obvious, but an astrolabe pendant hung from the center between his breastbones. It was easily missed when he wore a shirt.
“Is that from your…mistress?”
Matthew touched the pendent and smiled. “Yes, it’s from Hypatia, my domme. And so is everything else you’re about to see.” He shrugged out of his running shorts, displaying a thick ring around the base of his cock and balls with three thin chains cupping his ball sack and coming together over his cock around a bright blue gemstone encased in a gold setting.
“That’s beautiful.” How could one not stare?
Mathew cupped himself so Collin could see the jewelry better. “My domme appreciates craftsmanship.” A tinge of pride laced his voice.
“And you wear that running?”
Matthew laughed and turned away to start the water. “It took me a while to get used to it, but she pointed out that I’m just as much hers while exercising as I am at any other time. If it breaks and falls off, that is on her and her decision to make.”
Collin’s raised both eyebrows. “That’s a lot of money.”
Matthew nodded. He tested the water with his hand. “We have the money, but it’s still hard to be completely comfortable with it. We don’t overspend on most things, but I’m her very unguilty pleasure. And I’ve come to accept that the craftspeople who make these kinds of things, at least the ones my domme buys from, need people to buy what their imaginations compel them to make. I can’t feel guilty about that.”
Collin nodded. “Solid justification.”
Matthew shot him a smile as he stepped under the water. “It is. So, tell me what Richard says is sending you for a tailspin. By all accounts, Richard is beyond pleased with you.”
Collin crossed his arms and dropped his eyes. “I’m struggling with how much I want to be my master’s and my sir’s fucktoy but also how much I really want to have a career and be respected. Yesterday, we were all together. I went really, really deep. And it was good. Beyond good. But today I woke up scared. Like the real world came rushing back, and now I have two of me, and I don’t know what to do with them.”
Matthew filled his palm with shampoo. “Does it feel like you can’t be both?”
