Page 28 of Saved by my Baby Daddy Spy
Guilt still washes over me in waves every time I consider what more I could have done.
If I had just gotten to talk to him, maybe the people in charge of witness protection would have allowed Kerrigan and me to join him. Maybe we would have been a family.
Each time that thought crosses my mind, I feel sick.
I open my purse and pull out a nude lipstick, swiping it across my lips before piling everything back into the bag. I take a deep breath as I look at my reflection in the mirror.
Am I really about to do this?
After another moment of internal panic, I manage to collect myself and walk out of the washroom. Audrey grins and takes my other outfit from me, stuffing it into the diaper bag.
Employees are packing away the table from my book signing and to my surprise, Holden is stacking the chairs for them. He glances over at me, his smile spreading wide. My heart beats faster, pounding against my chest as I clutch the strap of my purse.
“Everything is going to be okay,” Audrey says softly, stepping in front of me and blocking Holden from my sight. “And if it isn’t, call me and I’ll deal with it. I can make up some excuse to get you out of there and then kick his ass in the morning.”
I laugh and shake my head. My stomach lurches as I try to give her an easy smile. “I don’t think there will be any reason to kick his ass in the morning. However, he might want you to kick my ass when I tell him the truth about Kerrigan.”
“You don’t have to do that tonight if you don’t want to. Waiting a few more days isn’t going to hurt.”
“No. I have to tell him tonight. If I don’t, I’m going to lose my nerve. It’s now or never. He deserves to know the truth before whatever is between us goes anywhere.”
Audrey raises an eyebrow, but nods. “I support whatever you decide to do and I’ll be here for you no matter what happens.”
“Thank you.” I turn to Preston as he walks over with Kerrigan in his arms. Teddy trails behind him with a stack of books in his arms.
“We’re about ready to head out,” Preston says, grabbing the diaper bag from Audrey and slings it over his other shoulder. He shifts Kerrigan as she giggles and pulls at the collar of his shirt.
“I’m going to see you later, Kerri,” I say, kissing her cheek. “I love you.”
Kerrigan babbles something incoherent before nestling her face into Preston’s shoulder. My heart aches as I watch them together.
While I’m grateful to have a family to support me the way that Preston and Audrey have, I still feel like I’ve robbed Kerrigan and Holden of crucial time they could have spent together.
I kiss Kerrigan again before heading over to Holden. He puts the last chair on top of the stack before wiping his hands on his jeans.
“You look beautiful,” he says, his voice soft as his gaze trails up and down my body. “Are you ready to go to dinner?”
“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself.” I take in the way his dark dress shirt hugs his chiseled body and the way his eyes shine when he looks at me. It’s enough to send my mind racing as I think about the last time we were together.
“I was thinking that we could get some Italian food. I don’t know about you, but garlic bread and pasta sound like a dream to me.”
My stomach growls and we both laugh. “Alright, lead the way. Let’s go get some food.”
“That was delicious,” Holden says as our plates are cleared away after we finish our dinner. He pays the bill with a smile as I finish my glass of wine. “Do you want to go for a walk with me? It’s a nice night.”
“Sure. Maybe we could walk down near the water?”
“Let’s go,” Holden says, sliding out of the booth and holding out his hand.
His smile sends butterflies through my stomach as I put my hand in his and stand up. Holden laces his fingers with mine as we leave the restaurant.
It’s only once we’re outside and the night air clears away the fog of a lovely dinner that I start thinking about what I need to tell him.
“Alright,” Holden says as we walk down the street to the beach. “Tell me about how you jumped from spy novels to romance novels. You glossed over that bit earlier.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It got harder to write spy novels, but I had to finish out the series I was writing. After that, I wanted something to challenge me. Romance novels are so different from what I normally write that I thought I would try my hand at it.”
Although, that’s only half the reason why I decided to switch genres.
