Page 40 of Headstrong Cowboy
Ryder didn’t know if he liked his suspicions being confirmed or not, but at least he knew that he hadn’t done anything to offend her.“I think it’s very normal for you to have a moment’s pause about what we did.You didn’t do anything wrong either.It’s okay to move on with your life.”
“I know.And I get to move on, but Beau doesn’t.”
“Why?”Her response confused him.
“Because Beau is dead, and he’ll never get to know what it’s like to experience being with someone other than me.”Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Ryder was extremely glad that he wasn’t still driving.
“Oh Chrissy, I’m so sorry.”
She waved off his sympathy with a loud sniff.“Thank you.I really am over Beau.I fell out of love with him years ago, and we stayed together because it was habit.We should’ve ended it long before we did.”
With every passing conversation, there was more and more he was learning about Chrissy and her past.“It may have been a while, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” he told her.“Grief is something that is always there.When you think you’ve conquered it, or at least pushed it aside, it comes back and hits you.Whether it’s seeing a photo.Hearing a song.Smelling something you associate with that particular person.The feeling of loss brings you to your knees.”
“Like the sound of gates springing open at a rodeo?”
“Yes.”Her insight was spot on.In a few hours, when he was sitting in the stands watching her and all the other competitors, the loss of his career was going to hit him hard.But for her, he’d push through it, when he knew that the second the first person rode out during the opening ceremony, he was going to want to get as far away from the fairgrounds as possible.
“If it’s too much, you don’t have to be there.I do understand.”
He couldn’t believe they were sitting on the shoulder of the road leading out of Marietta at four in the morning, having this discussion.A discussion they could’ve had at any time.But then it wouldn’t have the same meaning as it did now.The timing wasn’t right until this moment.“I know, but I want to be there—for you.”
“Ryder.”His name was a whisper on her lips, but it pierced his soul.No one had ever said his name the way she did right then.
He leaned forward and she met him halfway, their kiss soft and sweet and meaningful.He could’ve deepened it, but he didn’t.He needed to get her home.“Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said, as he rested his forehead against hers.
“You make it easy to talk about.”
“When it’s with the right person, communication is effortless.”He bussed her cheek.“Come on.Let’s get you home.”
He didn’t let go of her hand as he drove her the rest of the way to the flower farm.As he pulled into the driveway, he was struck by the thought that soon he could be doing this on a regular basis.That this could soon be his home.
Tell her!
The voice inside his head demanded he say something, but Ryder ignored it.Too much was happening for her over the next couple of days.When the rodeo was finished, he would tell her.He wasn’t going to do anything that would affect her concentration and cause her to get hurt.He would never be able to live with himself if he was to blame for anything happening to her.
He walked her to the door, but before he let her go inside, he pulled her into a hug.“I had a good time tonight, and I wish I didn’t have to let you go.”
Her arms tightened around him and he felt her sigh as much as if he’d sighed himself.“I feel the same.”They stood there for a few moments, enjoying holding each other.“I had a good time too,” she whispered and kissed him.
His body lit with desire and it took everything he had not to drag her to his truck and drive them back to the hotel, but he didn’t.He dropped his arms and stepped back.“Sleep well, and I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Are you sure you still want to come?It’s okay if you don’t.”
Ryder loved the way she was still giving him an out.An out that, a couple of weeks ago, he would’ve taken.Now, though, he couldn’t wait to be there and cheer her on—no matter how difficult it was going to be for him.“I’ll be there.Night, little flower.”
“Night.”
He waited until the door had closed behind her before he stepped off the back porch.The lure of the workshop pulled at him and he couldn’t help himself...he made his way over to the structure.He knew he shouldn’t go to it.He had no right.Not to mention, it might be locked, but the closer he got, he thought he heard the soft strains of music playing and a sliver of light beneath the door.
Was that old saying true that if you play music to plants, they grow better?Was there a sound system in the greenhouses that played 24/7?In the couple of times he’d been in the buildings, he couldn’t recall hearing anything playing in the background, but that didn’t mean that at night they didn’t have it going.
Twisting the door handle, he paused before pulling it open.He really was trespassing, but he was intrigued by the music.Chrissy had said that they were able to patch the leaks and that a new irrigation system would be installed in a couple of weeks.He’d wanted to tell her not to waste her money, but the words, like always, had remained locked down.
Carefully, he pushed the door open.All he’d do was poke his head around the corner and that was it.He wouldn’t go inside.He would just make sure that no one was inside.He cringed when the door squeaked.It probably wasn’t as loud as it sounded in his mind.
“Who’s there?”a female voice called out.A voice he recognized as belonging to Sunny.
“It’s just me, Sunny.Ryder.”He stepped into the space.“You’re either up late or up early.”
