Page 50 of Headstrong Cowboy
How could she be wanting this when he’d lied to her?When their whole relationship had been a game for him?
People do things for a reason.It may not make sense to us, but it’s important to them.Keep an open mind.
Her mom’s words came back to her and she took a breath, holding it for a second before blowing it out.“Ryder, what’s going on?Why are you here?Why did you say you wanted to help us make the farm a success?Don’t you want it for yourself?”
He pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it and reminding her of how it had looked when she’d done the same thing the night they’d spent together.“I thought I did.I believed with everything in me that this land would give me what I thought I needed.Now I know I want something different.”
“This is goodbye, then?You’re leaving to buy land and do what you think you need to do elsewhere?”
“If I leave”—he closed the distance between them—“I’ll be leaving all of my heart here.”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” she whispered, her throat clogging with tears.
“I did everything wrong, so wrong.I knew it.Every day we spent together, I knew I had to tell you.Yet, I couldn’t.”
“Why?It’s a pretty big thing you were doing, Ryder.Was any of the time we spent together real or was it all part of a game with the end goal ripping the land from beneath us?”
“No!”His exclamation echoed around them.“No, it was never a game.Do you remember where we first met?”
“Sage’s chocolate shop.”She’d replayed that meeting over and over until she’d looked up from Ranger’s back and had seen him sitting atop a majestic horse, and she’d thought her eyes had been playing a trick on her.
“Yes, and for the next couple of days, I mentally cursed myself that I hadn’t chased after you.That I hadn’t tried to talk to you.And then I saw you again and my heart tumbled over in my chest.I craved being close to you, but didn’t know how to achieve that.After seeing you at Riley’s, I got back to the hotel and got a call from Lucinda, telling me about the perfect property for me.It was a flower farm.When she said your name, I asked if it was you, and she confirmed it.It didn’t take much convincing to see the land because it meant that I could see you again.”
“Why is that?In the hopes of getting close to me, so I could sweeten the deal for you?”
“I’ve already said it wasn’t like that.I knew the size was too small to make it the ranch I wanted, but I liked what I saw.What I liked more was spending time with you.I couldn’t keep myself away from you, even though I knew it was wrong.I knew I had to tell you I was interested in the property.That I’d come to Marietta with the express purpose to buy land on this road.To fulfill a wish and to claim a piece of me I didn’t know was connected to the town.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion at his revelation.“What does that all even mean?”
“All my life, I’ve been cast aside.The boy his mother didn’t want to live for.Chip was great, but he wasn’t my dad, and he also had his own ranch and the other kids to look after.When I was with you I felt like you saw me.You didn’t see the millions in my bank account.You didn’t see the wounded, has-been bull rider.I found I could be myself with you.I didn’t have to pretend to be tough, so the other kids wouldn’t bully me.Didn’t have to swagger around like an arrogant rodeo king.When I was with you, I could be me.With you, I belonged like I’ve never belonged my whole life.I felt wanted.”
There was so much to dissect from Ryder’s speech.One of the major things was his comment about his bank account.She didn’t know he was that rich.Suspected he might be well off, considering he’d told he’d had land in Texas that had had oil on it.Not to mention the top-of-the-line truck he drove and how he was staying in the nicest room in the Graff.But he’d never flaunted his wealth around.Never acted entitled.She also knew that bull riders were always paid the most when it came to winning their event at rodeos.Some were careful with their money, others not so much.She’d put Ryder in the “good with money” category.But none of that had mattered to her.It didn’t define him.“You’re right, I did see you and I thought I knew you, but I don’t.Not really.Yes, you told me about your past.And I knew about your bull riding career, but I didn’t know you had a lot of money.”
“I didn’t tell you everything about my past.”
“What do you mean?”Chrissy wasn’t sure how much more she was going to be able to take.
He reached into his back pocket, pulled out a picture—a little worse for wear, for where it had been kept—and held it out toward her.She took it from him and studied it.She didn’t recognize anyone in it, but she recognized the background because they were standing in the spot the picture was taken.“Who are these people?”she asked.
“That’s my mom and her parents.They were part of the Munros of Marietta.This land was theirs.They lost claim to it when their uncle made a few bad business decisions and they had to sell everything off.All the land was cut up into parcels and—”
“And my family bought it.”
“Yes, they did.I didn’t know any of my family background or my connection to the area until a couple months ago when I was cleaning out my property in Texas and found a letter with this photo tucked into a book.In Mom’s letter, she spoke of how being here was the last time she remembered being truly happy.Even my birth didn’t bring her the same happiness as walking this land with her parents.She did love me, but when the family lost this land, everyone felt it deep.She asked me to reclaim this part of my heritage.Asked me to fulfill her wish of her ashes being scattered here and to live here, like I should’ve, had the land not been lost.For me, it was a connection to a woman who left me.For some, they may have ignored it, but I couldn’t.I needed that connection to her.To family as well.Because I hadn’t had one in my life.”
Chrissy’s mind swirled with emotions.If anyone should know about doing everything for family, it was her.After all, she was putting everything she had into saving her family’s legacy.She could even understand his need to have a connection to a family he’d never known.“Why didn’t you get Lucinda to present Mom with a ridiculously high offer if you wanted the land so badly?”
“Because of you.”He lifted a hand to touch her but dropped it.She wanted him to touch her.“Because I got to see how much the farm meant to you and your sisters.The way your voice softened and your eyes lit with happiness when you talked about the farm.That’s what conflicted me as well.I wanted your land, but I could see the legacy that was part of you and your sisters.A legacy I couldn’t take away from you, like it had been taken away from the Munros.My family’s legacy was lost, but yours wasn’t.It is real.And beautiful.And I want to be a part of it.”
There was no denying the truth in his words.He may have lied by omission, but for him, it was a good reason.“What happens now?”
Ryder pulled his hat off and held it against his chest.“It’s all up to you.I stand here before you, a broken former bull rider, hat in hand, asking for another chance.I want to prove to you that I believe in you and your family.I see how much love you all have for the land and flowers.I want to see Sunny’s plans come to life.But most of all, I want you.You have my heart and soul.I know you may not believe me, but I love you.From the moment I bumped into you, I knew you were special.Then I saw you on Ranger and I toppled over, only I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge it.But with every passing moment, I fell deeper and deeper in love with you.I never wanted to hurt you, but I did.”
Tears were streaming down her face.Her Ryder was poetic and yes, he was hers.“I’ve never known heartache as much as I’ve known it over the last two days.Even when my marriage was crumbling and the divorce was final, it never hurt as much as this.”
“Little flower, I’m so sorry.”Ryder dropped his hat to the ground and came up to her, wiping her cheeks.“I can’t bear to see you cry.”
“What do you want, Ryder?”
