Page 80 of Merciless Union
He shuts the door behind him and walks to the apartment entrance. My brotherisa fuckup but he’s still my brother. I wouldn’t trust anyone else more with my Mom and sisters’ lives.
I finally make it back to my own penthouse, feeling so exhausted I could fall over and sleep on the floor.
All this stress isn’t good for me but it’s not like I can just make it all disappear. Being the leader of the Bratva will always bring challenges. It’s just something I have to get used to.
Arina is the exact opposite of how I feel. She’s practically bouncing up and down when I get inside.
“You’re happy,” I comment, approaching her.
“I am.” She gives me a quick hug. It’s so effortless and natural. “What happened between us last night…” I raise an eyebrow while her cheeks grow red. “Well it sort of distracted me from sharing the good news. I finished the painting. I thought you’d like to see it.”
I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “Maybe now’s not such a good time.”
Her face falls. “Oh. It’s just… you’ve been dying to see it ever since I started working on it.”
I sigh again. “No, you’re right. I’ve just had a stressful day. My brother got into some trouble. It just threw me.”
“Then we can wait.”
“No, no. It’s fine. Idowant to see it. You’ve worked hard on it. Please.” I motion for her to lead the way.
“Ok. Wait here.” She runs down the hallway, then comes back carrying the canvas. “I hope you like it.” She turns to painting towards me.
And I… hate it.
Arina is clearly talented. She’s done a great job of capturing my likeness. But, I hate how stern I look in it. Like the bastard I really am.
I hate it because that’s how Arina sees me. Stern, frowning, unfeeling. Or least, that’s what she saw on my face when she was sketching me.
Arina looks between me and the painting, a hopeful expression on her face. “Well? What do you think?”
“So, this is how you see me?” My voice comes out thick.
She frowns, glancing down at the painting. “I just drew what I saw.”
“It’s…horrible.”
She gasps, taking a step back. “What? Why would you say that?”
I shake my head. “No, Arina, it’s just…” A pause. “Just get rid of it. I don’t want to see it ever again.”
“Did I do something wrong?” The pain in her voice hurts me.
I can’t tell her what I feel. I should never have admitted to her being my weakness. I was a fool to say that. I can never love. And it’s clear that Arina doesn’t love me ifthat’show she sees me.
She’s made me out to be a cold, cruel, looking man in the portrait. She couldn’t have drawn that if there wasn’t a part of her that believed it.
I need to focus on Stepan. I can’t get lost in my marriage. I refuse to let it consume me, for my benefit and for Arina’s.
“Just… get rid of it,” I repeat. I cant stand to see how cold I look.
Tears spring to her eyes. “But I worked hard on it.”
“I never want to see it again!” I shout at her, all my tension building up over the day unleashing.
She takes another step back. “I thought you were changing. But I guess I thought wrong.” She flings the canvas as me before turning and running away.
I stand there, the canvas as my feet.
