But he reluctantly continues. “When we finally got down to the vehicle, the cab was empty. After searching the nearby area, we found your husband not far from the wreck.” He pauses. “We believe that he hit black ice and lost control. It seems that he didn’t have his seat belt on at the time of the crash.” His face goes white, and he clears his throat. “Maybe the doctor should tell you the rest.”
“No,” I yell in a panic.“Please don’t make me wait!” I beg. Not knowing what is happening is tearing me apart inside. Ijust want to push this man out of my way and go see what is happening for myself.He always did complain that the seat belts were too uncomfortable.I don’t know how many times I told him to just wear it anyway.
He sees the turmoil in my eyes and takes pity on me. “Okay, well, when my partner rolled him over, I saw something sticking from his chest.” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t sure what to do, but the ambulance arrived shortly after I did. So, I let the paramedics take over and stepped out of the way.”
A knock at the door startles me from my thoughts. I turn and see the doctor come into the room. I can’t read his face to know if this will be good news or my worst nightmare.
“Mrs. Moreau, I am sorry to inform you, but…”NO! NO! This is not happening!“Your husband didn’t make it. His injuries were too severe.”
This is one of my worst nightmares coming to life. I have to be dreaming. My hands suddenly feel cold, like I’m standing outside in the snow storm. My chest tightens as reality hits, and I struggle to breathe. A high pitch squeal every time I try to breathe in and tears streaming down my face.
“Can I see him?” It comes out as more of a weak squeak. “I want to be able to say goodbye before the kids get here.”I don’t want them to see him covered in blood either. I can do this alone.
“Yes, the nurses are just cleaning him up,” he tells me as he is already backing up towards the door.
My mind throws a million questions at me at once.How am I going to tell the twins their father is gone? I need to call his mother and my parents. Who is going to watch the kids here while I take care of everything?A million thoughts are going through my mind. They are interrupted when I hear the officer clear his throat. He’s one of the cops that I see regularly around here, and he clearly recognizes me.
“I wish I could have done more. If you have more questions, call the station, and someone will assist you,” he says quickly as he is still looking to escape the room.
“Thanks,” I snap. I know it’s not his fault, but I just can’t bring myself to care. “That won’t bring him back, though.”
I turn away so he can leave and I can have a moment alone to gather myself.Did anyone call in a replacement for me? Am I going to be able to work and plan a funeral? Shouldn’t I feel more right now?
Guilt starts to seep in. I need to get out of my thoughts and do something. Walking rotely through the doors, I feel like someone else is controlling my body. My feet are moving, but I have no idea how. I stop outside the curtain that Adrien is behind, take a deep breath, and slide it out of the way.
I can feel my walls starting to break down. My heart is tearing itself apart. I need to get my shit together. Focusing on the sound of my heart beating, I step closer to the stretcher.
My husband of twelve years...lying motionless. Lifeless. As if he was never here to begin with.Am I numb? Is this what shock feels like?What would be his normal pale shirt is ripped and now covered in crimson.You can do this. You are strong; you can break down later when you are alone.
Chapter 1
Isabella
6 Months Later
The sound of an alarm going off in another room wakes me, and I crack one eye open.Who left the fucking blinds open! It’s too bright in here.Sadness threatens to creep in as Iremember my husband is no longer here. Adrien used to close the blinds before he went to work, when I had forgotten the night before. I never noticed the small things he did for me until it was too late.
I could stay here forever, cuddled in its warmth, until I reach across the space where Adrien is supposed to be and feel how empty it is without him in it. I don’t think I will ever get used to it.
I sigh. It’s been six months since Adrien’s accident. Six months since me and my twins, Remi and Brielle, had to say goodbye to him. People say that time heals all wounds but it feels like everything has gone by so slowly since the funeral. I haven’t been back to work. Between life insurance and our savings, I have hidden out at home. Just the thought of being back where I last saw him has so many emotions swirling inside my head.
How do you unsee your husband lying on a stretcher covered in blood?
Since Adrien’s accident, I’ve considered moving back home multiple times. I met him thirteen years ago when I moved away from Stinson, my hometown, to attend college. It was a small place where everyone knew everyone's business. It looks like a nice, quiet place to move your family, and it is as long as people mind their own business.
While I loved Adrien, he was more of a best friend than anything else. He was there for me when I needed someone and my heart was broken. He was my escape from my life back home.
Unfortunately, my life back home is complicated—filled with nothing but ex-lovers and familial ties that have nothing but illegal habits.
I was young and naive back then, thinking there was so much more that life could offer outside of my small town. Wanting to get away from the life of being a less-than-savory accountant's daughter. Away from the danger.
I will have more support for the kids if I move back home, though. Adrien’s parents, while nice, have never been much help. They haven’t been in contact since the accident.
Camille and Giselle have been the biggest factors in convincing me it would be the best move. They have been my friends since high school and have always been there for me, even from a distance. More like sisters than friends. Which is why the kids call them both aunt, but of course in french, Matante.
After moving away for college, they would come and visit me as much as they could. If they couldn’t be there for me or the twins in person, we’d be on video calls. They never missed a birthday or milestone.
Camille called me last week and said there was an opening in the emergency department back home in Stinson. The pay is better than where I am now, plus my family and friends are there. Besides, I can be civil with my ex if I see him. Things didn’t exactly end on the best terms.