Page 1 of The Mountain
Chapter 1
Lily
I never thought safety would smell like fresh cotton sheets and the lingering hint of male body spray, but it does. I press my face into the pillow, inhaling deeply as the too-bright lights turn the world pink behind my closed eyelids.
Safe. I’m safe.
“Of course I’m into her, you dick.”
Eddie’s voice sounds at once near and distant, echoing through the haze of my mind, but loud enough that I know he must be close by.
I think about the way he smiled, fresh powder dancing between us with our laughter. The way he attacked my shoes with his knife so I wouldn’t slip. His hand on Matty’s back, the softness of his voice as he brought Matty back from whatever darkness he’d fallen into.
I think about the way his face looked when he found me on that bathroom floor, my body frozen but my eyes seeing everything. My body feeling everything.
He’d looked like a man who would destroy the world for me and barely glance at the ashes beneath his feet.
Who says she has to choose?I’m pretty sure I’d heard someone say that moments before. Seth, maybe?
“Not like we should be arguing about this anyway.” Eddie’s voice is lower now, almost a rumble. “Since Lily is currently passed out.”
My lips part, the urge to protest his words almost instinctive.I’m not. I’m not passed out. I swallow, my mouth tasting dry and bitter, as if whatever drug Tom slipped me has left its mark there.
And then the meaning of Eddie’s words registers, slow and viscous, like sun-warmed honey.Of course I’m into her, you dick.
My heart stutters, an almost dizzying beat as the words rasp out from between parched lips, nearly unintelligible. “I’m not.”I’m not asleep.
I force my eyes open, blinking in an effort to bring my world back into focus. My eyes land on Eddie almost instantly, and I can’t help but smile at his look of horrified surprise, at the twin patches of pink blazing on his cheeks. Like he can’t stand the thought of me knowing how he really feels.
A laugh catches in my throat at the thought.It’s too late, I want to tease him.I know you like me. I think I’ve known it a littlebit this whole time, ever since that kiss on the ice-coated steps outside the condo.
“Hey,” I say, offering him a wobbly smile.
Eddie has seen me at my absolute weakest. He’s seen me helpless, completely vulnerable. And he protected me. Fought for me. Kept me safe.
I don’t want to tease him. I want to give him the truth. All of it.
“I’m… I’m into you too,” I rasp.
His eyes widen, cheeks blazing as his lips part. I can’t help but laugh now, because the thought of giving him the truth is completely terrifying. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell him everything.
“I… um… I like all you guys actually. A lot.”
I swallow, then press my face against the pillow, squeezing my eyes shut so I don’t have to see the hurt on his face. I can feel his eyes on me though, can feel the other guys watching me, can hear their soft breathing, heavy and still with anticipation. When no one says anything, I add: “So you don’t need to argue about it anymore, okay?”
The silence is heavy, an aching, terrifying thing. I give a tremulous smile and reach my hand over the edge of the mattress. Matty had been there, at some stage. He’d promised to stay with me…
I give a sigh of relief when his hand clasps my own, warm and callused, but so gentle. “Oh good, you’re still here.”
“Always,” he rumbles, and I can feel the brush of his words against the back of my hand, like an oath. “Always.”
“I’m going to get you some water,” Eddie snaps, and then he’s scrambling to move past where Matty is lying on the floor. A pair of feet trots after him—Seth, I realize, though how I can tell just by his socks, I’m not really sure. And then the door slams shut behind them.
Well.
I swallow back the lump of disappointment in my throat, and squeeze my eyes shut against the unexpected burn of tears. I’m not sure what I expected, telling them all that I’m into them. But it wasn’t this… this awkward silence.
“Oh,ma puce.” Antoine’s voice is low and thick, and I look up just in time to see him clambering over Matty, then climbing onto the mattress until he’s pressed against my back, one strong arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Dieu merci, mais… you’re awake. You’re okay.Putain, I thought…”
