Page 4 of Avalanche
“We had you when I was twenty-five,” Mom argues.
“Lily is twenty. And we’ve only just started dating. I haven’t even asked her about kids yet.”
“Well,” Mom sniffs haughtily, “you should probably ask her about it. And it’s never too early to start trying.”
“It’s definitely too early to start trying.” I shake my head, horrified at just the thought of having this conversation with Lily. Or worse, at Lily overhearing any of the craziness spewing out of my mom’s mouth. “And you’re not meeting her. Not even on video chat. Not unless you promise not to ask her about kids.”
“But…”
“And that goes for the rest of the guys, Mom. I’m serious.”
There’s a long, reluctant silence on the other end. I can just imagine Mom’s petulant glare as Dad gives her one of his smug, knowing looks.
“Fine,” Mom sighs. “I won’t say anything about grandkids. Yet.”
There is a decidedly ominous tone to that last word ‘yet’.
“So.” Dad clears his throat. “I’ve been looking up this town in New Zealand you mentioned and it’s on Google Maps. Did you know it lets you zoom in and see pictures in 3D of different places? It’s like you’re walking around. So neat. Well, how do you say the name of the town—Wanaka? Is that right?”
“Um, yeah.” I let out a breath, relieved for the change of subject. “That’s it.”
“It looks like there’s a nice lake there. And some good cafes. This one has a lot of five-star reviews. Oh, and look honey—” I presume he’s talking to my mom, not to me “—there’s a cute little playground by the lakefront. It has a dinosaur slide. The kids would love that, don’t you think?”
I let my attention drift as Mom and Dad get distracted delving into the magical world of Google Maps, learning more about the place that I’ll be moving to than even I know.
A smile curves my lips, excitement curling low in my stomach as the sound of their voices quells all the uncertainties that have been whispering in my head.
This is real.
What I have with Lily and the guys, our plan to find a place together in New Zealand for the off-season, and a potential future together beyond that… it’s all real. Mom and Dad don’t need me—they aren’t sitting at home wondering when I’m coming back to help them with the twins. They’re planning a trip to come visit me and contemplating the possibility of grandchildren.
Kids. Shit.
I hadn’t even thought about kids. In my most distant-looking imaginings, I’d thought about getting a dog. But having kids?
I close my eyes and try to imagine what that would be like. A small human, crying and gurgling and throwing its little arms around erratically. Eddie’s look of wide-eyed terror as he pondered how to hold it or attempted to deal with a leaking diaper. Liam waiting impatiently for it to grow big enough to put it on a snowboard. Antoine teaching it insults in French. Matty wearing one of those baby carrier things and glaring at anyone who stepped too near him.
And Lily. Sweet, wonderful Lily.
I bet she’d be a good mom.
“Seth, honey? Did you hear what I said?”
I blink and the image fades, leaving with it a lingering sense of longing and confusion.
“What?” I ask stupidly.
Mom laughs, a light, carefree sound that has my chest aching. There had been so many years when that sound had only been a memory. It’s hard to believe she’s better now. That things are better now. That she really doesn’t need me anymore.
“I’m really happy for you.” I can hear the smile in her words, can practically taste her tears from across the line, can feel the warmth of her from a thousand miles away. “That’s all. We both are.” Another sniffle. “Really happy for you. You deserve this.”
Chapter 2
Lily
“Keep your shoulder in. That’s it—you need to be more aggressive going into that turn. You know this, Lily. Yes, perfect!”
I’m sweating beneath my instructor uniform, wool thermals sticking to my skin, scalp prickling with heat beneath my helmet. I pull up to stop at the bottom of the run, my breath hot and clouding in front of me. My legs are burning, quads and calves trembling with exhaustion.
