Page 77 of Avalanche
“I’m not scared.” He casts a wary glance to where Lily, Liam and Antoine are waiting at the other end of the car, then folds his arms over his chest defensively. “Do I look scared to you?”
I can’t help but smile at that. Maybe it’s a little unkind, maybe it’s teasing him, but the truth is, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so afraid of their feelings in my entire life.
“So tell me more about your idea to buy a place,” I tell him instead, hoping to steer the conversation back to somewhere Eddie feels safe. Real estate. Eddie likes real estate. “You thinking of somewhere for all of us, huh?”
A grin spreads across his face. “There’s so many options,” he explains earnestly, trotting alongside me as we make our way through the snow-covered resort to the staff changing rooms. “Some really good investment opportunities out there. I’ll show you some of the best ones when we get home. Or maybe we can catch up over lunch?” He peers up at me in question, his eyes glinting with a level of excitement that I just can’t understand given the topic. “We should have a few minutes while our kids are eating between lessons.”
“Sure.” It doesn’t take much to smile back at him, even if the thought of looking at houses on Eddie’s phone in the kids ski school cafeteria isn’t exactly how I’d like to spend my lunch. “I’d like that.”
It’s only sort of a lie. I like the idea of us all living together somewhere. Having a home. A real home.
With Lily.
Without thinking, I find my attention traveling a few paces ahead, to where Lily, Liam and Antoine are making a path in the deep snow that fell during last night’s storm. Lily’s boot prints trail behind her, little stars stamped among the zig-zag pattern from the soles. They’re cute, those footprints. Narrow and delicate and feminine and her’s.
Just like the cut of her winter coat, and the way her braids peek out from beneath the collar, and the little knit mittens she wears sometimes when she’s out walking.
She pauses to look over her shoulder, her eyes finding my own with unerring accuracy, a faint smile curving her lips. I can’t look at those lips without thinking of kisses, of sweet brushes against my throat, of that lapping tongue teasing… other places. My cheeks heat at the thought, a burst of embarrassment no doubt painting my face red.
Except last night it had been my mouth on her. It had been me drawing pleasure from her, watching her pant and squirm. Eddie too. And Antoine. And Liam. One after the other we’d taken turns making her come, until I was nearly mindless from watching her.
“She’s been so good for us,” Liam had explained. “Don’t you think she deserves it?”
I’d agreed. Of course I had. Lily deserves everything. The entire world. A real wedding, with flowers and a beautiful dress and all the people she loves there. A house, with all the things Eddie talked about.
Most of all she deserves to be told how loved she is, every single day.
When Lily turns to say something to Antoine I pause to stare down at Eddie, nudging my shoulder against his.
“Hey, buddy. You’re going to tell her you love her, okay?” I whisper, ignoring the way his face turns pale with surprise at my order, at the way his freckles stand out in stark relief across his nose. “When we get home tonight. You’re going to tell her. With words.”
He opens his mouth to protest, but I shake my head.
“No. Don’t argue. You’re going to do it. You’re brave enough.” An idea rushes through me, and I seize it happily, unable to hide my smile. “If you tell her, I’ll go to bat for you on the house thing. If Antoine’s money comes through, I mean. I’ll take your side.”
Eddie blinks at me, a hopeful smile curving his lips. “You mean it?”
“Yeah.” I nod enthusiastically, clapping his shoulder for good measure. He grunts at the impact, his feet skidding momentarily beneath him in the snow. “Course I do.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “Fine, I’ll tell her.” He scrubs at the back of his neck before giving me a half-hearted scowl. “But don’t expect some grand gesture or anything. I’m not doing that. That’s your thing, not mine.”
I press my lips together to hide my smile, remembering that time Eddie took his knife to the soles of Lily’s shoes because he was worried she’d slip on the icy stairs. The time Eddie got everything organized so I could propose to her, so I could get down on one knee and put my ring on her finger.
The time Eddie saved Lily from Tom.
I’m pretty sure grand gestures are Eddie’s love language.
“That’s fine,” I tell him. “But you’re going to tell her how you feel all the same.” I pause, worry rushing through me as it occurs to me that maybe I’m pushing him into this. Making him do something he’s not ready to do. “I mean, only if that’s actually how you feel,” I add hurriedly. “I’m not saying tell her you love her if you don’t…”
Eddie stops in his tracks, staring up at me with a disgusted scowl. It’s the same look I’ve seen him give other instructors when they try to transfer their beginner skiers into his intermediate class. It’s funny to see when it’s aimed at someone else, but feeling it turned on me—I can feel my shoulders shrinking in defensively, my heart rate accelerating, my palms sweating.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” he hisses, shooting a glance to where Lily is laughing with Liam about something several paces ahead. “Of course I love her. Look at her. She’s fucking amazing. I’m spending the rest of my life with her. Probably. If that’s what she wants.” The scowl softens into a sharp edged grin. “Shit, I love her so much, I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with you guys too.”
Something sharp and sweet presses behind my ribs at Eddie’s declaration and I let out a sigh before wrapping one arm affectionately around his shoulders, ignoring when he stiffens and glares up at me.
“She does want that,” I tell him, as he squirms his way free of my hold. “To spend the rest of her life with you, I mean.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, recalling what Antoine told me the other day at breakfast, before everyone was up, his head tucked close to mine, his knee against my own.
