Page 26 of Warlocks Don't Win
“You’re a lunatic. Verifiably insane. You spelled me with striped hair instead of killing me?”
“I couldn’t kill you. Your father’s legacy was too powerful.”
I snorted. “And who’s to blame for that? Who hauled Rasputin’s bones around the world and then animated him just so you could…” I shuddered. “Verifiably insane. And now you’re haunting me. Parsley is going to put you to rest, now.”
I headed out of the bathroom, The thing that kept rolling around in my head as I went through my luggage wasn’t my mother’s curse, but the fact that the striped hair hadn’t changed color. For ten years, it had been a different color every morning. I didn’t have any other purple and green outfits. I’d have to go with black and white. That’s what I always wore when my color combinations were beyond me. But why green and purple? I’d been joking about it symbolizing our magic, a sign of our love, but then we’d been married. That is, I married him against his will. What if it really was a symbol of us being together? Those colors had started the morning I woke up on top of him in the motel.
I shook my head. Nonsense. It would be a different color tomorrow. No sense freaking out about it now.
I marched down the stairs, dust puffing with every step until I got to the dim foyer with the slashed painting of our engagement portrait. I glanced at it and then froze. It wasn’tslashed anymore, but perfectly restored, although still coated in a thick layer of dust.
Had I ever been so young and stupid? I shuddered. And Winston was so heroic looking, strong jaw, slightly lifted like he could see into the future. Would anyone notice if I slashed it to pieces again? No, I had better things to do this morning.
“Parsley, you have to lay her to rest right this second!” I yelled, bursting into the kitchen to find Portalia sitting at the table in her hot-pink turban, drinking a cup of hibiscus tea while the butler rolled out dough at her side. Winston stood on the counter, washing the ceiling, his linen shirt sleeves rolled up, baring his muscular, extremely manly forearms.
“Oh. We have company,” I said stupidly, wishing I wasn’t wearing floral pants.
“Lay who to rest?” Portalia asked, raising a thin brow and looking at me askance.
“Her mother,” the butler said, rolling the dough placidly. “Like I said, your Clarinda, aka, ‘Stripes,’” he added, doing air quotes with his doughy fingers, “istheClary Sage. Heir of Sage house, voice of the Salem Coven, wife of Winston the Warlock.” He made it sound super boring, even yawned at the end.
I still flinched with every single word he said. “What are you doing here, Portalia?” I asked, turning to her with a pained smile.
She sniffed and raised her chin. “When you disappeared, we were all worried. That Parody you left in your shop is useless. So we made a circle of finding, and then hired a sorcerer to put together a portal. I came through to find out what was going on. There have been so many energy fluctuations throughout the coven, and they’re all tied to you. Explain yourself, Clarinda. What is this man talking about?”
I rubbed my forehead while a headache started to build behind my eyes. “It’s like this…” I started.
I glanced at Winston, but he was ignoring everyone else while he scrubbed the black ceiling, revealing shiny copper tiles that I’d never seen during my lifetime.
“So…someone’s trying to kill me.” I didn’t mean to start with that. Or end with that. Or say that anywhere in the middle, but I was having a hard day. Winston kept scrubbing, flexing his forearms, shoulders, back, and he was standing there with bare feet on the counter that wasn’t as filthy as earlier, but he still might get tetanus or something from a rusted nail.
“That’s why you were hiding in Singsong City?” Portalia sipped her tea and eyed me with fresh interest. “Are you really the Sage heir? You shouldn’t have abandoned your house like that. Places like this are sacred.”
The house shifted, clearly liking her and wondering why she wasn’t the Sage heir instead of me. Same, house. Same.
“No. I left because I didn’t want to deal with my legacy. I wanted to live my own life.”
She tsked and sipped her tea. “I understand. It must be difficult for a felon with a record like yours to find acceptance with any coven. Singsong City Coven is the most accepting and open-minded coven in the world. I’ve worked hard to make sure it remains an oasis in this world of judgment and prejudice. So this murderer found you in Singsong City, so you had to follow them back here to get to the root of the evil? You should have told us. We’re your coven. We already miss your sausage rolls.”
I sighed heavily and sat down. “Yeah. That’s because they’re spelled to be addictive and put you all under my will.”
She snorted a laugh and then patted my shoulder. Somehow I didn’t hiss at her. “Yes, dear. So funny. You’ve always been such a controlling leader of the coven.” She winked at me. “So, what are you going to do about this house?” She gazed up at the ceiling and Winston the Warlock, who wasn’t trying to not be a paragon of masculinity and sex appeal.
“Do?”
He was so distracting, particularly with bare feet. He was definitely going to get tetanus.
“You can’t leave it like this. Have you thought of putting a way door in between here and your shop? That’d probably be the best way to manage both places. Unless you intend to sell your shop and stay here, but I can’t imagine you giving up Change Your Stripes. It’s practically an institution.”
I blinked at her. Brain stuttering and stalling. “Yeah, Winston was going to do the way door,” I finally said. “It’s going to be really cool. Have to use a room with more than one door. In case it malfunctions, because that’s how people lose rooms. That’s what happened with the last way door put on Sage House. I don’t think it liked it.”
It creaked a grumble of agreement. It had not liked the way door.
I sank into the chair opposite the butler kneading bread while Portalia sipped her tea. I poured myself a cup, which had a crack down the side, so it leaked on my fingers.
Winston dropped to the floor, graceful like a predatory cat, then he came over and lounged on the chair between me and Portalia.
“Sage House would like us to clean it together,” he said.
