Page 23 of Finding Tane
I hugged him tight, smiling a little to myself. I was pretty sure I’d nailed that conversation. Ivy was crying but surely it was from relief. Coming out, as I knew, was always a vulnerable experience. It was impossible to predict how someone would react to your announcement, and any kind of rejection could be devastating, especially from a family member.
After a while Ivy pulled away, yanking a tissue out from his pocket to mop at his face. “Fuck. That was scary.”“Yeah, I bet.” I grabbed my water bottle and handed it to him. “Drink.”
“Thanks.” Ivy took a deep swig and then smacked his lips. “You’re so cool.”
I smiled at him. “How about I take the afternoon off, leave Christian in charge and take you to Hartsville?”
Ivy blinked. “Hartsville?”
“Yeah it’s the closest department store. We can get you new clothes and pajamas and stuff.”
Ivy teared up again, bent forward and buried his face in his hands.
I patted his back, got up and went to check that Christian was okay with sole charge. “Bit of a family emergency, nothing bad, just... Ivy needs me.”
Christian nodded and smiled his easy-going smile. “No worries. I’ll lock up with the spare key, take care.”
I drove the thirty miles to Hartsville, the biggest closest town, and Ivy told me about his journey — feeling not quite right about his gender, researching online and talking with some friends who had already transitioned at the university.
He didn’t need me to say much, just affirm him and say I understood, and I could tell he needed to off-load all of this.Neither of us brought up our parents. I sensed it was a bit too soon for that.
I parked at Target and we went inside, grabbing a cart. I led him straight to the Menswear section.
“How do we start?”
“Start with the basics. Underwear first, then pants, then shirts.” I nodded, confident. “It just makes sense.”
“I’m glad I have you, Dill. I don’t think I’d be brave enough to do this on my own.” He glanced around and I shook my head.
“Trust me, no one cares what you buy. And this is a good, cheap way to work out what kind of style you want. Uh, by the way, you never told me if you have a new name?”
“Name’s are hard,” Ivy said. “I’m toying with a few options, I want to keep the plant theme... maybe Briar, or Aster?”
“Those are both excellent options. Just take your time, you don’t want to pick something that doesn’t sit right.”
Ivy nodded and I led him to the men’s underwear section. “Go ahead, pick whatever.”
Ivy bit his lip and started sorting through boxer briefs. “How do I know my size?”
“I’d guess you’re a small.”
Ivy started loading things into the cart. I added a pack of simple white T-shirts for myself in large, Ivy noticed, and grabbed the same pack but in small. My heart thumped.
“Onto jeans, I have no idea of sizing there, so you’ll need to try on some other options.”
I checked on my phone a couple of times, but Tane never replied. Thinking about Tane, or the sales at the shop was too much. When I tried to, my brain just clouded over with static.
Whatever. I have a little brother now.
I focussed on Ivy. Ivy needed me. I could be there for Ivy.
Chapter Nine
Tane
Andrew had found a little short term rental a few miles out of town. We sat down and discussed terms.
Well, more accurately, we fought.
