Page 24 of Finding Tane
He wanted me to fulfil my contract, release the next album, and probably one more. I had concerts booked, he wanted me to do those. He wanted me to wait to make any kind of decision. He wanted me to come back to L.A.
But the more I thought about any of that stuff, the more I wanted to just quit it all.
“You should never give up on your dreams, though.” Andrew shook his head like I was talking nonsense.
I sat back, considering. I’d grown up on messages like that too.
“Okay, but what if the dream isn’t what I thought it’d be?”
“What’s bugging you? Can we make it easier? You want more time between concerts, we can make that happen — it’ll cost us more but we’ll work something out. Maybe you could do more low-key appearances, smaller venues?”
After a few hours of this, my head was pounding. I was on the verge of a realisation, so I excused myself to go outside and breathe the fresh air. Country air.
L.A. was anathema to me, now. The smell of the smog, the heat, the people with their fake tans and filler in their cheeks and protein shakes and telling you they love you when it’s all just a facade to get themselves ahead?
I needed something real, at least for a while. If I was going to make music again it wouldn’t be the same as it was before. It would come from my heart. Maybe it would be outside my usual genre, and that’s fine. Maybe it was time for Whetu to retire, so I could just be Tane.
And I knew exactly who I wanted to be Tane with, and where.
I went back inside.
“How much would I have to pay, if I canceled my contract?”
Andrew’s mouth disappeared into a thin line of anger. “Don’t be hasty, now.”
“I’m not being hasty.” I shook my head. “I want out. I know I’ll be disappointing fans, I’ll post on socials and explain myself. But I can’t do it again. I don’t have another Whetu album in me. I’m retiring.”
“Tane, please—”
I picked up my jacket and my keys, pleased I’d driven us there in my rental so I could leave again. “I’m out, Andrew. I’ll get in touch with my lawyer, I’ll pay out what I owe, but please don’t make this more difficult. I’ll go to court if I have to.”
I went out to the car, Andrew climbed in on the passenger side. “Tane, no, listen to me, you have to reconsider.”
He tried to talk me out of it all the way back to Foggy Basin. I turned the music up.
It was getting close to six by the time we rolled back into town. It had been a long day and I was worn out, but also kindof exhilarated. I knew what I wanted, I knew what I wanted my future to be.
I pulled up outside Foggy Basin Grocer’s to see Christian locking the door.
I wound down the window. “Hey, Christian, is Dillon around?”
Christian squinted at me and shook his head. “Nah, he had a family emergency, he’s been gone all afternoon with Ivy.”
My stomach swooped. Was Ivy okay? Had something happened with their parents?
I went to check my phone and saw a few missed messages from Dillon. He was asking if I was okay.
My shoulders released some tension.
I called him.
“Hello, Tane?” He answered on the third ring. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you?”
“Yeah.” Someone said something in the background and Dillon said faintly. “He’s okay. I’m just chilling out with my brother.”
“Your brother?”
