Page 27 of Finding Tane
I got home at the end of an average Friday and flopped down on the couch.
“What’s up, bro?” Aster glanced over at me. He was playing some weird botany game on the Switch.
“I’m struggling.”
Tane came into the lounge and crashed down beside me, his knee bumping mine. “Struggling how?”
“The shop.” I pressed the palms of my hands onto my eyes, trying to blot out the world. The static in my head was growing, drowning out words, drowning out what I needed to communicate. I could feel my hands were shaking. I was on the verge of some kind of outburst. I had no idea if it was going to be crying or screaming, but something was welling up in me.
The room went silent. The couch cushions shifted.
“Is it okay if I touch you, right now?” Tane’s voice was low, careful. Like he was afraid of spooking me. I appreciated it.
I nodded, but I wasn’t really sure. Sometimes when I got like this I needed to be alone, with no one touching me.
Gently, he splayed his big hand over my back and pressed gently, rubbing small circles with his fingertips.
Aster moved about the room. I could hear his footsteps, and the sound of his game turned all the way down, then off.
I swallowed, trying to remember how to ground myself.
Tane’s fingers. I could feel those. Pressing the soles of my feet into the floor, I concentrated on that gentle pressure.
Then breathing. Slow in and out, in and out.
Tane started to sing, something low, and gentle and beautiful. Another song in Maori, as I didn’t understand the words. But it stirred something warm inside of me. Something that chased away a little of the static, and gave me something to hold onto.
A few breaths later, I was able to straighten up and drop my hands from my face. The overwhelm wasn’t entirely gone, I’d need to sleep and take some time in silence to really get rid of it, but for the moment, I could cope.
“Welcome back.” I looked at Tane, half-expecting to see judgement there, even though he’d been nothing but sweet to me. Instead he was smiling, warm and relieved.
“Thanks. I like the song.”
Tane smiled. “It’s another one everyone knows back home, a love song.”
“Ew, right in front of my salad?” Aster said.
I glanced at him but he didn’t have any food in front of him. “Huh?”
“It’s an internet meme, don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.” I took another breath. “So the shop, I don’t know, I ordered some new Korean foods... the take and bake pizzas are doing well, everything in the chiller is okay, but overall sales are down and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“No wonder you’re stressed out.” Tane slipped his arm around me and I leaned back into him.
“Let’s brainstorm something. Maybe a big event?” Aster caught Tane’s eye. “Maybe with a celebrity guest to draw people’s interest?”
Tane smacked his lips.
“You don’t have to,” I said, quickly. “I know you’re in a strange place with music and you’re burned out. No, we’ll think of something else.”
Tane hummed. “I could be into it. Just for an hour or two, play whatever I like, acoustic...” He nodded. “You can count on me.”
Aster grinned and hopped up. “I’ll get to work on flyers, how long do you need to prepare?”
“I...” I shook my head. “I don’t know? What would we do?”
“You could do free samples of the Korean stuff? Maybe bring in some other new, interesting foods?” Tane suggested.
