Page 41 of Hollow House
Right for who? Myself? I still tried to grapple with it all.
In the new room, the same people crowded around from before, but this time, something was different. They no longer wore their masks. They watched us enter, all smiling and giving nods of approval. Before, they barely even flashed a smile at me.
I spotted Felix and Jeremy in the corner, whispering to each other and holding similar chalices to what had been served all night. The couple up on the balcony before, now I knew why they felt so familiar. I did know them. My best friend and his partner, dressed in clothing fancier than anything I ever seen them in, mingling with a secret society.
A secret society I was now a part of. I damned myself to this; I needed to learn to accept it. If I wanted to move on and make something of myself, I couldn’t let fear and regret hold me back, not when I knew there was more for me beyond where I’d become stuck.
I just couldn’t shake the terrible sinking feeling in my gut that followed stabbing Darren. He was a horrible person. I heard some of the accusations against him at work that HR did nothing about. He deserved the karma that found him.
But still, I had to live with what I did.
I decided what his punishment should be. I let the society sink their claws in and push me toward this. There was no backing out now.
I stopped following Damon’s lead.He stopped and looked back, tilting his head out of concern. His strong grip tightened,and the squeeze was enough to pull me out of the spiral I was aiming for.
People started to approach and congratulate me. Their words barely registered. Instead, my focus was stuck on my friend who had not come over yet. He was avoiding me, and I wanted to know why.
After a few more introductions and pleasantries, I turned to Damon, leaning in so no one else could overhear me.
“Will you excuse me for a second?” I whispered to him.
“Of course,” he said, his tone dark.
I walked over to Felix, my friend’s partner leaving his side to let the two of us talk.
“He’s taken a special interest in you. He never does that,” Felix said before I could even speak..
“What do you mean?”
“He doesn’t let people as close to him as he has you.”
“It’s been one night, Felix. It was a single night of hook ups. I’m sure he’s had others,” I said.
“Sloane, it’s been almost a month.”
My entire world crashed around me. Reality bent, and I felt sick. My hands grabbed my stomach and mouth while I tried to hold back the bile rising in my throat. I dry heaved, and Felix tried to put a hand on my back, which I quickly swatted away.
“You left me here that long? How is that even possible? It’s only been a night,” I said, scrambling for an explanation.
“You saw me here, Sloane. We talked,” he said, his eyes searching mine.
“What?” I asked, but as he said it, I remembered. The dream. I thought it was all a fantasy, that Felix couldn’t really be there…
But it wasn’t. It wasn’t just a trick of my mind or too much wine. I was truly losing touch with reality.
“Are you okay?” he asked, watching me spiral.
“No, I’m not okay,” I yelled. “My best friend, who I thought I could trust, was a part of this all along.”
“I never wanted to lie to you,” he said.
“Did you kill someone?”
He dropped his head, refusing to meet my gaze. “Yes.”
My mouth fell open. The man I’d known since kindergarten, who wrote books about fairies and true love, was now a killer—and I was too.
I looked at my bloodstained hands. Why didn’t the sight repulse me? Why no matter how hard I tried, did I not instantly regret it? Why did I still want him?
