Page 29 of Songbird
My heart constricted as though a python had squirmed into my chest, slowly squeezing the organ. I couldn’t ask him to stay, even though the thought of Tarrick leaving felt like suffocating. I knew what it felt like to be rescued from a fate worse than death. Rescuing humans from slavery was more important than any heartbreak I might suffer.
Tarrick’s expression was unreadable, his mind likely swirling with thoughts about the mission and the rush of being a spy once again. The thrill of danger and adventure surely overshadowed any feelings he had for me. As I watched him, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt, stinging like hot, sticky slime on my skin. As wonderful and real as it seemed, our relationship had only been a facade for him while I naively let myself fall hook, line, and sinker. And yet, despite it all, I couldn’t bring myself to be angry with him. How could I? He had risked himself to protect me from Kayzon, and for that, I would forever be grateful and, most likely, forever in love.
I schooled my features into a pleasant smile. God knows it wouldn’t be the first time I’d smiled through heartbreak, and probably not the last.
“It will take over a week to travel to the Akruvara system. You know the space winds in that sector are awful at this time of year,” Praxxan said. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was trying to talk Tarrick out of leaving.
“More reason that he needs to leave immediately. I’ll instruct the dock to prepare Tarrick’s ship,” Jala said, snatching her datapad off a nearby table. “You can leave within the hour.”
“Did Seimba say how long the mission would take?” Tarrick’s voice was tight.
“No, but this works out perfectly,” Jala chirped as her fingers flew over the handheld screen. “Izzy can tell everyone we don’t expect you to be gone long, and when you are, it will make her story of feeling abandoned more believable.” Jala finished on the datapad, dumped it back on the tabletop, and stood, stopping to ruffle Tarrick’s mane on the way to the kitchen. “As much as we love having you around, you should stay away at least a rotation.”
A year. The idea of not seeing Tarrick for a year made me want to scream. I didn’t want this. I wanted Tarrick.
“How many humans?” Tarrick’s gaze bounced between Jala and Praxxan. There was something in his voice... a hesitation that gave me a fissure of hope.
“Siemba said at least a dozen, maybe more.”
A dozen human slaves. Maybe more.
I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing larger with each passing second. Emotions churned within me, a mixture of love and fear and heartache. I knew what needed to be done, even though it tore me apart inside. I couldn’t allow him to stay, not when the lives of so many were at risk. I couldn’tput my broken heart over the safety and freedom of others. No matter how much I loved him.
I reached out, laying a hand on Tarrick’s arm, hoping he didn’t feel the tremor running through me. When the chocolate brown eyes met mine, I made myself smile like all the other times when my mother made me smile when I felt like screaming inside.
“You should go,” I said softly, keeping my voice low so it wouldn’t break. “They need you.”
Tarrick’s eyes widened, and he sucked in a quick breath. “Do you mean that?”
“I do,” I said, some part of me drawing strength from knowing his absence in my life served a greater good. “You saved me. Now you need to go save others.”
I stood, and Tarrick followed, his gaze never leaving my face. I would never again love anyone the way I loved him, and for that, I allowed myself one last comfort. Resting my hands atop his shoulders, I rose on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his cheek. Tarrick’s eyes shimmered when I drew away. I shifted my gaze to Jala, then onto Praxxan, knowing I could no longer look at my mate without completely falling apart. “I’ll never be able to thank you two enough for what you did for me.”
“We will keep you safe,” Jala promised.
“We will,” Praxxan echoed, something like sadness etched across his features. “You have my vow.” The last words seemed directed more at Tarren than me.
I blinked back the hot wash of tears before issuing a nod of farewell and turning toward the door. “It’s getting time for rehearsal,” I announced, feigning excitement. “I’ve got some new songs I want to add to the repertoire.” I turned for the door, but Tarrick’s voice stopped me.
“Izzy.” There was such longing in his tone. I turned to face him, hesitant to hope. His tail, that had always been so active, lay limply at his side.
Tarrick raised his hand, one thick finger trailing along my cheek, as always, careful not to let the sharp point of his claw touch my skin. The first time he’d touched me had been like this, but now it meant so much more.
“I’ll miss you.” His voice was thick, accompanied by a wry smile.
I forced another smile, my eyes hot. “I’ll miss you too.”
Then Tarrick’s arms were around me, and I let myself melt against him. One last time. One last touch that would have to last me a lifetime.
“Goodbye, my Izzy.” He murmured near my ear, his warm breath touching my face with its spicy, sweet scent.
“Please be safe.” It was all I could mutter. I pulled myself from his arms, practically running for the door.
A swish and I was all alone, the silence of the corridor seeming to taunt me. I staggered and leaned against the wall, my body racked with sobs as the weight of a broken heart consumed me. Every breath was a struggle, every thought a sharp stab of agony trying to swallow me whole.
Strangely, my mind flickered to all the songs about lost love I knew. Songs written to commemorate feeling exactly how I felt right now. How the hell did people write songs about being brokenhearted? How did anyone survive it?
How would I?
