Page 34 of My Secret Duke
“Or one can just read a novel and pretend.” Annette joined the conversation. “How freeing to be a novelist and able to write exactly what one wishes to say and do.”
The viscountess lifted her head. “A ridiculous waste of time,” she said. Everyone else ignored her.
Adelina was determined to support her friend’s point of view. “In a book, one can visit foreign countries and perform daring deeds, and all from the comfort of a chair.”
“I do love a good romance,” Lexy sighed.
“One would do better to put aside fantasy when it comes to real life.” The viscountess was not to be ignored.
The conversation continued in a similar vein, with the fans of romance novels pointing out the benefits, while the viscountess tried to quash their enthusiasm.
“Olivia?”
Justina’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. When she turned, she found her sister was kneeling at her side, holding out a cup and saucer. Tea, of course. One could not have a picnic without tea.
“Do you think it was really business that called Northam home? He and Charles appeared rather worried. Didn’t you think so?”
Olivia was surprised her sister was talking to her again, and especially surprised she was talking about Charles. She noticed there was a flush in Justina’s cheeks,and she was fiddling with a flounce on her skirt. She didn’t seem to be enjoying the picnic either.
She opened her mouth to remind Justina that Charles was not the man for her, and instead heard herself say, “Northam seemed keen to have us believe it was nothing out of the ordinary.”
Justina met her eyes, her own clear and bright. “Exactly! They were trying to flimflam us, don’t you think?”
Olivia found herself smiling. “Perhaps it is another of Northam’s wagers. He had to rush off and race his curricle around London.”
Even as she said it, she felt a little guilty, a little disloyal. She was relieved when Justina took up the baton. “And Charles is to be his tiger!”
Olivia laughed at that. A tiger was a small man or boy, small enough to fit on the compact seat on the rear of the curricle. Charles would be far too big for such a position. Justina smiled back, although a little cautiously, as if she was apprehensive Olivia might turn on her again.
“Whatever it was that took them away, I refuse to allow it to spoil our day,” she said doggedly.
Justina sighed. “Me too.”
Olivia set down her teacup and saucer and reached to take her sister’s hand. As much as the reminder of Charles’s unsuitability was on the tip of her tongue, she did not speak the words. She just wanted everything to go back to the way it was.
“I’m glad you are yourself again,” Justina said.
Olivia stared. “I am always myself.”
“No. You’ve been truly horrible since the prince arrived.”
Justina was not normally so blunt. Didn’t hersister understand Olivia was only trying to help? “Don’t you remember how awful life was? I mean, before,” she said in a rush, when Justina gave her a curious look. “I just don’t want us to go back there. I want you all to be safe. If I marry well, then we’ll never have to go back to those days again.”
Her sister looked thoughtful. “I try to remember the fun we had and not the horrible parts.” Justina hesitated as Olivia stayed silent, and her tone gentled. “I know it was harder for you, as the oldest. You felt as if the world was on your shoulders, and you worried endlessly. I haven’t told you how much your care meant to us. To me. You are the best of sisters.”
Olivia’s face felt hot and her eyes stung. She blinked hard, aware she might begin to cry, and this was not the place for tears.
Justina squeezed her hand. “But those days are gone. We have Gabriel and Vivienne, and the Ashtons will march on, somehow. Perhaps not quite as Grandmama would like us to—we are rather a ragtag lot—but she is stuck in the past. She put aside her happiness for the family, and I don’t think any of us can do that. Or should want to.” A frown wrinkled her brow. “I wouldn’t like to think you were turning your back on happiness because you believed it would help us. That would make me feel quite sick. I… We can make our own choices, and our own mistakes. Can you imagine Robbie thanking you for marrying her off to some rich old man just to keep hersafe?”
Olivia swallowed. She felt confused, her thoughts floundering, as if the earth was rocking beneath her. “But surely if I…”If I marry the prince and make us rich, it would be a blessing to all of us.That was what she meant to say, but Justina stopped her.
“I would hate to think of you being miserable because you thought it was what we wanted, Olivia. I would be very cross if you did anything like that.”
Olivia stared back at her. Was it possible Justina was right? As awful as their lives had been, Gabriel was here now, and he had already told her he would not allow grandmother to push her into marrying a man she did not want to marry. Just as he had not married a woman he did not love. That did not mean he would not be grateful if she married a man with wealth and standing. Olivia was well aware that Gabriel’s finances would only stretch so far when it came to six sisters. But her sisters weren’t the only reason she had set her rather feverish sights on the prince. There had been the pain of being gossiped about and mocked, and her desire to return to London and finish her Season. It was the life she craved, and if she could help her sisters along the way…
Although now she thought about it, Grandmama had been happy to allow her to believe she was the only one who could save the family. Indeed, she had built on those beliefs, and Olivia’s dark memories of the past, until she was quite… frantic. But Olivia didn’t blame her grandmother. The dowager thought she was doing the right thing, just as she had always done what she thought was the right thing. Self-sacrifice was in her blood. Olivia admitted she had been rather flattered that her grandmother saw her as her replacement. The chatelaine of Grantham.
It had a nice ring to it. “Whatdid you say?”
