Page 59 of My Secret Duke
“At least you didn’t fall off.” Roberta was clearly relieved. “If it was a draw, are you planning on another race to settle the question?”
“Certainly not,” Olivia said airily. “Next time, I will drive a curricle.”
“I believe you would too.” Ivo laughed in that delighted way that made her smile back. As if everything she said was enchanting. They might have kept smiling at each other indefinitely, but Roberta broke the moment with a reminder of what the rest of the day held.
“It’s Justina’s coming-out ball tonight. She will be in a flap, and there’s still lots to do.”
The day would be a busy one, but suddenly, all Olivia wanted to do was curl up and sleep. Curl up with Ivo.If Roberta hadn’t interrupted them, she wondered what would have happened. Not a great deal, probably, but if they had been alone… What would it be like to sleep in his bed, in his arms? To be his in every way?
She glanced at him from under her lashes. “I shall see you tonight then,” she said. “You are coming?”
He smiled, green eyes gleaming wickedly. “Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away,” he assured her.
Olivia needed assistance to mount the mare, but when Ivo helped her up, his hands didn’t linger. He was suddenly the perfect gentleman, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Roberta didn’t need his help but leaped up onto Arrow, flaunting her prowess. Then the two of them set off at a leisurely pace across the park in the direction of home.
“Are you sure you are all right?” Roberta asked, when Olivia groaned softly for the tenth time.
“My muscles are sore. My legs feel like jelly and custard. I never want to do that again, no matter how much I enjoyed it.”
“Didyou enjoy it?” her sister asked curiously. “You were shaking like a leaf before the race.”
“I was afraid, but once it started, there wasn’t time to be afraid.”
“Northam thought you very brave,” Roberta said slyly. “The expression on his face!” She sniggered. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off you in those breeches.”
Olivia gave her a glare, but she secretly agreed. Ivo had seemed very appreciative of her male attire. Perhaps, if they were alone one day, she could…
But Roberta was speaking again. “What was it like, kissing Northam?”
Instead of telling her to mind her own business, Olivia pondered the question. What had it been like kissing Ivo, and being in his arms? Pleasurable, certainly, but she suspected being kissed and held by any attractive man might be pleasurable. Ivo was different, and being kissed by him lifted the act above mere pleasure. It was…
“Heavenly,” she said. “When we are together, it feels right. As if it was meant to be. All the reasons I told myself I couldn’t get close to him suddenly seemed silly. Well, not all of them.” She frowned. “He was never good for my reputation, and because of him, my Season was cut short.”
“Grandmama is always afraid of the gossips and fears upsetting the old biddies in the ton. I think she worries too much. We could be perfectly behaved and still be miserable, so what’s the point? Why not be happy instead? If you are in love with Ivo, then I think you should follow your heart.”
Startled, Olivia stared at her sister. “Inlovewith him? I’m not in love with him.”
Roberta rolled her eyes. “If you say so.”
“Why do you think I am?”
Roberta didn’t even have to give it any thought. “The way you light up when he enters a room, the way you look at each other as if there’s no one else. The way you tease each other—it’s as if you have a secret language the rest of us can’t understand. The air fizzes around you both, Olivia, until I wonder if you are going to start shouting at each other… or kiss.”
Olivia swallowed. She suspected she had been falling in love with Ivo from the first moment they danced together at her coming-out ball. But she had put a stop tothat, hadn’t she? And yet she did seem to think about him an awful lot. He was her friend, but today, she admitted it was more than that. Today, he had felt like her other half.
“That’s easy for you to say,” she said grumpily.
But her sister wasn’t finished. “You have been simplyawfulthese past months. Cross and miserable, and making us miserable too.Ithink you’ve been unhappy because you’re trying to be someone you’re not, Olivia.”
Olivia closed her eyes a moment, as a wave of emotion washed over her. “I was determined to marry well, but not just for myself. I wanted to help all of you, and I thought that my marrying someone rich would give me a better chance of finding you rich husbands.”
Roberta gave her a long look and then shook her head. “It wouldn’t have worked. Even if you did find someone who you thought was everything we needed, it doesn’t mean we would marry him. We Ashtons like to make up our own minds about things like that. We’re not like other young ladies, Olivia.”
Despite not wanting to admit Roberta was right, Olivia thought she was. It was what Justina had said to her at the picnic, and surely both of her sisters could not be wrong.
Roberta looked away, her newfound maturity deserting her as she stumbled over her next question. “So, is it over? Between you and Prince Nikolai?”
“What do you mean?”
