Page 69 of My Secret Duke
He could wake up to this every morning for the rest of his life, and it would never be enough. Her soft curves against his hard muscle, the feminine scent of her on his fingers, in his nostrils, the sound of her cries as she drew nearer to her climax.
“Ivo,” she gasped, her body trembling, her muscles tightening around his cock, sending them both into ecstasy.
They lay for a time, replete, but she was right. It was late.
Ivo rose and found the water and a cloth left by theservant. It was barely warm now, but it would have to do, he thought as he cleaned her lovingly. Olivia watched him through her lashes, but she did not protest. She seemed to enjoy his intimate attentions, and he remembered again her desolate childhood. He looked up at her. “You may be a little sore. I’m sorry if that’s the case.”
She bit her lip. “I am a little sore. But it was worth it, Ivo.” They smiled at each other until her gaze slipped away. Then, as if pushing aside sentiment, she said briskly, “You won the dare. Congratulations.”
He didn’t want to think these heavenly moments had been part of a challenge. He suspected she had reminded him to try to distance herself, and he didn’t like it. “Thank you,” he said politely. “I will have to think of one for you.”
She laughed uncomfortably. “No hurry. I expect my mother’s wedding will keep me busy.”
In mutual silence, they began to dress, Olivia turning to him only when she needed her gown refastened. He might have held her, kissed her, but she stepped away and reached for her cloak, quickly tying it before tucking her hair into the hood. The last thing was her mask, and when she had covered her face once more, Ivo went to open the door.
“Olivia,” he said, “do you think—”
“I hope Roberta hasn’t done anything disgraceful,” she said quickly, interrupting him.
He let his words go. What was he going to say anyway?I love you, please marry me?She would only say no again. He had promised he would fight for her, but he needed some distance to regroup, to plan. This was not the moment to declare himself.
The scene in the ballroom was even more dissipatedthan before. Debauchery was everywhere. He hurried Olivia through, stepping over a single stocking tangled with a cravat, and asked for their coach to be brought to the door. Roberta was sent for and arrived, eyeing them curiously. As if disliking the silence that seemed to stretch between them, she broke into a monologue about the Longhurst girl and her collection of dolls.
“Next time, I will bring Edwina,” she said. “She would enjoy a visit. For me, it was rather tedious. I am used to more exciting things.”
Ivo was glad to hand them into the coach. For a moment, Olivia turned to him, but he couldn’t read her expression behind the mask, and in the end, he bowed and let them go. The vehicle rumbled away over the cobbles, and behind him he could hear laughter from the Longhursts’, but it was much more subdued than earlier.
He needed to go home. He needed to think. He suspected Olivia believed she had said goodbye to him, and that she was preparing to be friends again. She was foolish if she thought that. After tonight, “friends” could never be enough. Their lovemaking had crossed a line that they could never go back from.
From now on, for Ivo, it was either all or nothing.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Was it really that bad?”
Olivia jumped at the sound of her sister’s voice, and then glared at her. “Be quiet.”
“Ivo looked as if he’d swallowed a plum stone, and you are just as bad. If making love is that awful, I am never going to put myself through it, that’s for certain.”
“It wasn’t awful. It was wonderful. It’s just…”
Just that she was in love with Ivo, and now she would struggle even more to marry someone like Viscount Carey. She’d have the memories of this night, yes, but she had the lowering feeling that they would not be enough. Ivo would haunt her dreams, and she would relive their night again and again.
“It is just what?” Roberta said impatiently.
“Nothing.”
Roberta huffed and folded her arms. “I’m never going to give my heart to anyone,” she announced as they neared Ashton House. “I am going to live my life for myself, the way I want it, so there!”
“I wish you luck,” Olivia said bitterly.
There was no one to meet them at the door. Everyone must be abed, so there would be no interrogation. Olivia hastened to her room, Roberta flouncing behind her, muttering about it being a complete waste of an evening.
After undressing, Olivia lay in bed and stared into the darkness. Although she shared the bedchamber with Justina, her sister was still out at the theater and supper, and she was alone. She was too filled with uncomfortable thoughts to sleep, even though she knew tomorrow wouldbe another busy day. The memory of the touch of Ivo’s hands on her body made her ache all over again, and the expression in his green eyes when he told her she was beautiful… She would never forget it. But wasn’t that what she had wanted?
Olivia knew now her dare had been a dreadful mistake. Because the memories wouldn’t be enough. She was in love with a man who did not love her, a man she had sworn not to marry, and it felt as if she was being squeezed into a smaller and smaller space. What choice was left to her? Viscount Carey, probably. He had yet to ask her, but Olivia sensed it was only a matter of time.
A sensible marriage, with money enough to help her sisters and herself, and the opportunity to take her proper place in the ton.
