Page 92 of Molly's Mr. Wrong
“I’ll tell you a secret, Finn. We have trouble keeping people because they can make more money elsewhere.”
He cocked his head. “So...you’re saying that teaching at a community college might be easier than getting certified to teach in a high school.”
“And you don’t have to put up with as much attitude.” She made a face. “Some, but not as much.”
“Maybe I won’t drop my English class.”
“If you can pass that sucker, I wouldn’t.”
* * *
FINNENDEDUPmissing his English class, which was better, he supposed, than dropping it, which was what he’d fully intended to do after leaving the administrative offices. But now, after spending close to an hour with Barney, going over requirements, he wondered why no one made it clear that it was possible to do something other than prepare for a regular education degree. After dealing with both Jonas and Denny, he figured he was a lot better prepared mentally to deal with the likes of them.
He stopped by Molly’s office the next afternoon to find out what he’d missed and to tell her he was okay with his new grade—as long as it didn’t get any lower. He wasn’t exactly proud of a D, but it was passing and after talking to Barney, he realized that he could take the class again and replace the grade if he needed to.
He knocked on the door frame and Molly jumped, causing her glasses to slip down her nose. She automatically pushed them up again and he came into the room.
“I just want to tell you that I’m okay with my grade being lowered.”
“You can still get a C—”
“Yeah. I know. If I do well on the final term paper.” He didn’t sit in the chair across from her desk as usual. “I almost dropped your class after talking to the dean yesterday.”
Her mouth opened, but before she could speak, he said, “I didn’t. Instead I spent a long time talking to the ag mechanics instructor. She’s an old friend. Remember Julia Barnes?”
Molly frowned, then her expression cleared. “Barney. Never had real classes. Spent all of her time in shop.”
Finn smiled briefly in spite of himself. “That’s the one. There’s a possibility that I can take a two-year course and teach automotive or metal fabrication here at EVCC. And if not here, then at another community college. Two years,” he reiterated. “Not four. One English class. Not as many courses, not as much writing.”
Molly’s expression seemed frozen.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Finn...more than anything I want you to be successful in whatever you want to do.”
How very formal.“I thought...look. This is me getting into something I can do. Something I can make a career out of. Something dependable.” He gave her a long look. “That was the key word, right?Dependable?”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“Like what?”
Molly looked past him to the door as if hoping that someone would come in and save her. They didn’t, so she drew in a long breath before saying, “Here’s the problem, Finn. I care for you, okay? More than I can handle.” She gritted the words out from between clenched teeth. “I care for you more than I want to.”
“Then why can’t we work this out? See if we have what it takes to make a relationship?”
“I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to try to balance someone else’s life with my own.”
“So this had nothing to do with me not fitting your idea of the guy you need in your life. There isn’t a perfect guy, because you don’t want a guy.”
“I’mafraidto want a guy, okay? I already spent my time as a doormat.”
She could have smacked him and it would have startled him less. “You think that I would treat you as a doormat? Without giving me a chance?”
Molly’s hands were clasped tightly in front of her and Finn wondered if they would be shaking if she wasn’t holding on to them. “I like being on my own.”
He didn’t believe her. She liked having no waves in her life. She liked the aura of security that not taking chances gave her. But he knew that it was just an aura. Shit happened no matter what.
“No guts. No glory.” The words dropped from his lips one by one.
