Page 36 of The Cowboy's Christmas
“Worried about being snowed in?”
“Nope.” Her voice was light. Maybe a touch too light. “The tractor is fixed, so we can make it out if necessary.”
But would he be able to bust his way back in to help feed in the morning?
“Any news on the radiator?” she asked conversationally.
He shook his head. Even if his truck were in good working order, he’d probably hang a little longer just to help out. It wasn’t like he had anything to do until his first post-holiday run, January 5.
She rocked back on her heels, her hands in her pockets. “So. About yesterday.”
“About yesterday,” he echoed, folding his arms.
“I’m taking your advice. We’re leaving it where it is.”
Unexplored.
He unfolded his arms. “You know, if you do want to talk…”
“I don’t.”
There wasn’t much he could say in response to her certainty, so he gestured with his chin toward the trailer, which was already loaded. “Ready to hook up?”
Her gaze shot to his face, and he was about to apologize for his wording when she said, “Yes.”
But she didn’t move.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”
After a beat of silence, she asked, “How are things going with your brothers?”
“Not much to report there.” One phone call. Several Austin misidentifications. Not much more.
“If you’re still here, are you going to spend the holidays with them?”
“I’m not ready,” he said simply.
She brushed a few windblown strands off her face. “I wasn’t ready for yesterday.” She held up her hand. “Not because of anything you did, but because, well, I didn’t see myself kissing anyone…ever?”
“That seems a little unrealistic.”
“Maybe so, but that’s where I was.”
“And now?” He probably shouldn’t have asked, but the words came out before he could stop them.
She gave him a candid look. “Do you want to talk about your brothers?”
“Not really.”
She shrugged as if to say,“See? We both have our things.”She wasn’t ready to talk about yesterday and he wasn’t ready to talk about his situation with his brothers.
They did both have their things, but while tragic, hers was more straightforward. She’d never been anyone’s secret. Never had anyone refuse to acknowledge her existence.
Losing a loved one was a hard hit. Being denied was more subtle and insidious. It held a measure of grief that he wasn’t even certain he was supposed to feel. And until he sorted that out, he didn’t know what kind of relationship he could forge with his brothers.
His mom, who’d been there every time he needed her without fail, seemed to feel nothing for his dad, nothing about the fact that he’d never had a thing to do with Quinn, and that made him wonder if he was supposed to be the same.
And if so, why wasn’t he able to do it?
Yes. They both had their things.
