Page 62 of The Cowboy's Christmas
“Better than him heading out himself,” she admitted, wondering how she was going to deal with Quinn staying on. Perhaps he could ride the trailer to the Anderson place, and then she wouldn’t be trapped with him in the close confines of the tractor cab, wanting what she couldn’t have.
“And better than letting that Barnett yahoo on the property.”
Their shoulders bumped again as they edged past a couple carrying toddlers in their arms and Quinn’s hand came down to her lower back to guide her past them. Even the small amount of pressure she felt through her puffy coat was enough to set her nerves on edge.
Deal with it.
He must have felt her body go tense, because he dropped his hand, and this time he moved away from her. Good. Now she could breathe.
“Everything okay?” he asked in a low voice.
She chanced a look his way. “With Christmas, yes.”
The frowning look he gave her made her wish she hadn’t been so specific—for the life of her she didn’t know why she had been—but there was no taking back the words now and trying to explain the unexplainable would only make it worse.
It was getting dark, and as they approached the Garden of Lights, the little girls started pointing out colors and shapes. It had been a long day for them, but they showed no signs of flagging. The gifts they’d picked out for their parents and Deke were stowed in the truck, so everyone had their hands free as they headed for the last attraction before they left town, a lighted wonderland. The perfect way to end the day.
The girls surged ahead, and Deke called them back, telling them they needed to walk with him to keep him from getting bumped. He seemed to be doing okay with his injuries, even if he’d been on his feet longer than usual, which made Savannah wonder how much time he spent up and about when she wasn’t in the house.
She and Quinn followed Deke and the girls along the magically lit walkway, following the flow of the spectators down the path. Christmas music played overhead, and the air was just crisp enough to give the lighted park a magical winter ambience. Everyone seemed to feel it—the couples holding hands, families trying to wrangle their small children, groups of elderly friends—which made Savannah wish that she could relax and enjoy the spectacle along with them. It had been a long day, mentally exhausting, although not in the way she’d expected.
She and Quinn walked together, but it felt as if there was a forcefield between them.
There was. She’d put it there. It didn’t feel right, but until she figured out how to deal with the man whom she was developing unexpected feelings for, it would stay. Quinn seemed fine with it, or so she thought until Deke and the girls disappeared around a corner and Quinn startled her by taking her hand and guiding her off the path.
She opened her mouth to protest, then thought better of it. If Quinn had something to say, then she wanted to hear it.
Once they were shielded from the lights by a broad elm tree, and out of sight from the walkway thanks to some strategically placed shrubbery which had not been lighted, he stopped, but he didn’t let go of her hand.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said.
Savannah couldn’t help shooting a quick look in the direction from which they’d come, making certain they were truly out of sight, before turning back to him.
“It’s okay,” she said stiffly, a quick obligatory response to an apology she hadn’t seen coming.
“It might be okay, but it wasn’t easy walking into that apartment without you.” He spoke in a low voice that did things to Savannah that she quite simply didn’t want done. She was tired of feeling like the snow should be melting around her.
“But you managed,” she pointed out. The place where they stood was shadowed, with patches of colored light showing through the branches, making it easy to see the disquieted expression on Quinn’s handsome face. He didn’t like being out of sync with her, but that was simply something he’d have to live with.
“You know why,” he said.
“To protect yourself.”
He blinked at her. “No.”
She cocked her head. “It wasn’t to protect me,” she said. “At least it shouldn’t have been. I might have issues, but I can make my own decisions. I don’t need to be mothered.”
“That wasn’t how—” He shifted his weight, setting his hands on his hips. “Is that how you see it?”
“I see a guy who is attracted to me but doesn’t want to do anything about it because he’s a…a…” she gestured in frustration, then pointed a finger at his chest, “…guy that doesn’t want to settle down.” She lifted her chin, the finger still pointed at him. “But I’m not asking anyone to settle down.” Finally she dropped the accusatory finger. “You think you’re protectingme, but I think you’re protectingyou.”
Quinn’s eyes narrowed as he pulled his head back. “Maybe I’m protecting both of us, just as I said last night.”
“Maybe one of us no longer wants to be protected.”
“Savannah…”
Frustration brought a rough edge to his voice. He stared down at her for a long moment, then when she gave him an I-dare-you look, he took her face in his hands, lowered his head and kissed her. A fierce kiss, edged with frustrations that she could have helped him with had he not sent her on her way the night before.
