Page 41 of Christmas with the Cowboy
“It still stings.” The truth dropped from his lips so easily. “Pride, you know.”
“Coupled with a sense of betrayal?” she asked.
Reed nudged the ground with the toe of his boot, needing to look at something besides Trenna, because when he looked at her, his brain jumbled that sting he’d spoken of with lingering attraction. “Some of that.” He couldn’t keep his gaze from reconnecting with hers. “I didn’t see it coming. It stunned the shit out of me.”
“As you pointed out yesterday, we were heading down different paths.”
As it had gotten closer to the time that she would head to college and he would not, there’d been tension. Yes, he felt like he was being left behind, but there was no way he would hold her back from what she needed to do.
“I understand that—now—but I didn’t back then. I thought we would overcome. You felt otherwise.”
“It was a confusing time. I thought…I thought that if our relationship was strong enough, we would reconnect.”
He remembered her saying it at the time, and he remembered thinking it was bullshit, even as everything in him wanted to cling to it. “I thought you were letting me down as easily as you could.” While ripping his guts out. “I wasn’t going to cling to false hope.”
“Obviously. Weren’t you married a little over a year after we broke up?”
“I’d thought I’d found someone with a similar background, which you and I hadn’t had. Someone to build a life with.” He cocked his head. “If I recall correctly,” which he totally did, “you were dating some hotshot coxswain at the time. I had to look upcoxswain, you know.” No easy feat when it was spelled so screwy. “When I found out what it was, it kind of emphasized where we both were. You were dating a competitive rower, and I was dating a ranch girl.”
She crossed her arms, her mouth flattening. “I grew up on a ranch.”
“But you didn’t do the work, Trenn. Your dad had men who did that. Candice did the work.”
He let out a long breath, his tone softening as he said, “Candice and I thought we were in love. Maybe we were. It was different from what you and I had but felt like the real thing…for about six months.”
Now Trenna nudged the ground, moving the gravel in front of her red suede boot. The silence stretched to the point that he thought she was looking for a graceful way to end the conversation, when she looked up at him and asked, “What happened?”
“You know what? That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m a good dad to Lex. And that Lex even happened. And that I get along great with Candice and her husband, and we parent Lex together.”
“Yes. That matters.”
He wondered if she was placating him by agreeing, then decided he didn’t care. He looked past her to the horizon where the wall of steel gray was moving over the mountains.
“The storm’s coming.” He looked back at her. “What happened with Jay?” He’d allowed himself to get sidetracked—something that seemed to happen when Trenna was around.
She made a dismissive motion with her chin. “He confronted me in the bar. Blamed me for getting fired. The bartender kicked him out, and when I woke up this morning, the valve stem on my tire had been cut.”
Reed didn’t say a word, but his compressed lips must have told the story, because Trenna said, “I wanted you to know what happened in case he pulls the same crap on you, butifyou encounter the guy, do not say a word about me. It’ll only focus attention back on me. I think he’s had his say and now he’s done.”
“You hope.”
“Until I get evidence to the contrary, I’m going with this theory.”
“Trenn—”
“I’m not stupid, Reed. I can take care of myself.”
And he had no business intervening on her behalf.
She pushed her hair back after a gust of wind blew it forward. “I don’t want you evening the score, but I want you to know that he might come after you, too.”
“Thanks for the warning.” The words sounded ironic, which wasn’t his intention, but he didn’t try to explain, because irony suited his purpose. “You’d better get to your cottage or to town or wherever you’re going.”
Trenna looked like she had a lot more to say, but instead, she lifted a finger in a salute that also smacked of irony. Kind of a theme as they worked to keep distance between one another, and he felt both relief and regret when she turned and headed to her car without a backward glance. He did the same, turning on his heel and heading to the side-by-side. She started the car and backed up to the side road leading into the pasture, then executed a three-point turn. Reed tipped his hat back as the car disappeared, then allowed his chin to sink to his chest.
His dad had it nailed. He was not over her.
But there was no way in hell he was letting her know that. Things were better for her, for him, and for Lex if they didn’t rip each other’s hearts out again.
