Page 58 of Christmas with the Cowboy
Finally, the tree was upright. Reed got to his feet and stood with Lex and Trenna, admiring. Trenna gave him a sideways look over Lex’s head and then quickly refocused on the tree.
How was it that Reed the father was as sexy as Reed the wild cowboy? Or Reed the reformed wild cowboy?
“We should get going, kid.” Reed jerked his head toward the door.
“Right. Our work here is done.” Lex dusted off her hands. “Grandma needs me now.”
Reed smiled at Trenna, who was once again tamping down that wildly warm feeling growing inside of her. She wasn’t part of his little family.
Trenna hushed a whisper of regret as she walked to the door with Reed. Lex skipped down the steps and made a beeline to the truck. He didn’t follow immediately, but instead stopped beside Trenna, watching the snow drift down from the sky in large lazy flakes.
“Thanks,” he said simply. “Lex is kind of finding herself, and I’m indulging her. She’s away from her friends, and I think that’s taking a toll on top of everything else.”
“She’s fun,” Trenna said. The words sounded ridiculously superficial, but she left them at that. She needed to keep her distance, keep her heart from engaging with this family of two. This was…temporary. Odd circumstances that brought people together, but didn’t keep them that way. The holidays, the ranch project, her dad mucking around with the Kellers, the circumstances with Lex’s stepdad—all temporary situations.
She reached out to briefly touch Reed’s sleeve. “Thanks again.”
He met her gaze in a way that made her breath catch, then nodded and headed down the walk to his truck without a word.
Behind her, Bruno butted his big head against her leg, and she reached down to pet him as the truck with father and daughter pulled away. She and the dog made their way back into the house, and she stopped a few feet away from the tree, which had already filled her small living room with the scent of fresh fir.
She loved the tree. Loved that Lex had insisted on bringing it to her.
But she couldn’t let that muddle her thinking.
Yeah. Good luck with that, she thought twenty minutes later after finishing the housework she’d started just before Reed and Lex had arrived. The floors were swept, the kitchen floor mopped, and the bathroom fixtures shined. She’d worked at record pace, almost as if she was trying to escape invasive thoughts—which, of course, she was.
Trying not to think wasn’t helping. It was very much like trying to clear her mind when she meditated. Random thoughts landed and refused to go away.
Reed had two identities now—Reed the dad, and Reed the guy she’d slept with. There was doubt as to which identity was most important to him, which should have made Trenna’s mental battle concerning the Shardlow job less intense.
Should have.
What was going on with this wishy-washiness?
She’d always known what she wanted. Yes, it had taken time to find the courage to push back against her father’s control and claim her life as her own, but she had and, from that point on, she’d had no issue identifying her next course of action and proceeding.
So what did she want now?
A mediocre yet enjoyable job at the community college, or a position that she could sink her teeth into?
A position located a thousand miles from the man she couldn’t chase out of her thoughts.
Obviously Shardlow was the best choice professionally and, if she was honest, personally. Less potential for heartache with the guy who wasn’t going to get involved. This wasn’t the Reed she’d fallen in love with years ago.
No. He’s better.
Then for some stupid reason, tears began to well, and Trenna wiped them away with the back of her hand, only to have them start welling again.
They weren’t sad tears, just…emotional tears. Suppressing stuff for too long tears. She brushed them away again and went to the kitchen to put on the kettle. She’d have a cup of tea while she debated about decorating the tree.
And she would either stop longing for something it seemed she couldn’t have, or she’d do something about it.
Her hand stilled before she reached for the faucet handle. No expectations. Just…Reed. And her. And what they had right now.
It would be stupid not to take advantage while she could.
She set the kettle aside and reached for her phone before she chickened out, and indeed, she was close to lying when Reed answered.
