Page 73 of Christmas with the Cowboy
After the mare was tied inside the trailer and the door was latched, Reed turned to her.
“I’m sorry to put you through this.” He pushed his hands more deeply into his pockets.
“This is the kind of stuff friends do. It doesn’t require an apology.”
Reed’s eyebrows came together, and it wasn’t difficult to gage the direction of his thoughts.
“You don’t think we’re friends?” she asked tightly.
“Do you?” he countered.
He had a point. Friendship shouldn’t make her ache.
“I think we’re…deeply connected,” she said at last. “Despite my dad.”
“Did you apply for the job?”
She gave a hesitant nod. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’ll take it.”
“You should. I won’t have you make sacrifices when I can’t promise anything in return.”
Trenna frowned at the idea of not being able to promise anything. Had she asked for promises?
“Just being honest,” he said in response to her silence.
Was he?
Something was off. Had been off every time they had this conversation. Whatever it was had been nagging at Trenna’s subconscious for days, but she’d assumed it was guilt because she’d been the one to blow their relationship out of the water years ago.
Lexwasthe most important person in Reed’s life, as she should be, but was that the only thing holding them back?
Trenna did not believe so. Her certainty that Reed was sidestepping grew as he checked the trailer latch for the third time then turned back to her with the I’ve-got-to-go expression on his face.
“Maybe if things were smoother in Lex’s life, then—”
“We could be together with no expectations of one another? We could be not-really-friends with benefits?”
He looked like she’d slapped him. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“It’s more than Lex, isn’t it?”
Reed’s mouth opened, then closed again, tightening as the distant expression he used to protect himself took over his features. The mare shifted inside the trailer, obviously anxious to be on her way, but neither Trenna nor Reed moved.
The silence stretched until Trenna reached her breaking point. She stepped forward, took the front of his cold coat in her hands and gave him a shake. “What are you afraid of Reed? What’s the worst-case scenario you are trying to avoid?”
She released his coat then, slightly stunned that she’d taken hold of it in the first place, and stepped back, lifting her chin as if to shake off the moment.
Reed didn’t move, didn’t speak. Trenna shoved a handful of curls behind her ear, almost knocking her hat off.
“If you figure it out, and if you think it’s something we can confront, we’ll talk. Until then…”
She left the thought unfinished, realizing that there was a good chance that there wouldn’t be a “then.” And damn it, it hurt.
“Goodbye, Reed.”
She turned and walked to her back door, somehow managing to keep Bruno from escaping as she slipped inside. She leaned against the door and closed her eyes as a wave of pain washed over her.
This was the way things had to be until Reed broke loose with the truth, whatever that might be. As he had said before, they couldn’t half-ass it.
