Page 46 of Her Cowboy Baby Daddy
Overwhelming.
Hayley set her laptop aside and leaned her head back against the sofa cushion, squinting against the sun slanting in through the east-facing window. She’d made next to no progress the night before, having nodded off shortly after finishing her wine, but she made up for it by waking up early and resuming her search.
Her overwhelming search.
She was quite possibly going to have to make a spreadsheet of sperm donor characteristics, because these men were jumbling together in her head. The initial donor profiles were streamlined, listing basic physical characteristics. A quick click and Hayley could read family and medical histories, educational background and health habits. Another click and she could read an interview and listen to a personal narrative.
What if she chose wrong? What if these guys weren’t who they said they were?
That’s probably more of a possibility with a guy you meet the normal way.
Yes, but when you meet face-to-face, you can read vibes.
Hayley was a believer in vibes. The catalog profiles were so cold and unengaging.
She reached for the notebook where she’d been making a short list that was actually pretty long. At this rate of vetting, she might get pregnant late next year, but this wasn’t a process to hurry along. Her thoughts drifted to Spence and the easy solution he’d represented.
She was glad he’d turned her down. Totally. He would have been excellent in many ways, but there was too much potential for complications.
Or maybe she was focusing on potential complications as a way to make herself feel better about being turned down. Whatever. The result was the same. She was shopping for the father of her child in a catalog because Spence wanted to be part of his future child’s life. Complications.
So why the pang of regret?
Hayley answered her question by scowling at the legal pad with the short list written on it. Because choosing a father this way was an onerous task that lent itself to overthinking.
Argh.
Hayley got up from the sofa and headed to the kitchen when she heard the tractor fire up. She and Connor and Ash had worked out a routine when they’d first hired on. They met in the afternoon to report progress and get instructions for the next day, then Hayley invited them to get a cold drink from her fridge before they headed back to Marietta to do whatever teen guys did after a long day’s work. In the mornings, they simply went to work, following the instructions from the previous day.
Hayley watched through the window above the table as the tractor started moving toward the field and, a moment later, Connor whizzed by on the ATV on his way to check the waterers and mineral feeders. Any minute now, Spence’s truck would pull into the ranch and park next to Ash’s, and she would casually amble out the door, boots on, gloves in hand, ready to spend the day working shoulder to shoulder with the guy who made her nerves hum. She could see the two of them starting something, but she could also see it falling apart. Like her mom, she started her relationships on a high, expecting the best, only to watch things start to crack and crumble as time went on.
She turned away from the window and headed for the mudroom. It was good that Spence had turned her down. She wanted a baby, not a relationship and, even though Spence’s freewheeling lifestyle indicated he wasn’t a relationship guy, his insistence that he be part of his kid’s life suggested that he was.
She liked the man, and with all things considered, the best place for him to be was in the friend sphere.
Which left her with the damned catalog.
*
“And that’s it.”Spence reached out to shake the post they’d just set—the last of the eight they’d had to replace, three due to the windfall, five due to rot. The Lone Tree Ranch had long stretches of old fence, and although Spence gave the Parkers extra credit points for maintenance, all fenceposts eventually gave in to weather. Hayley had more work ahead of her in this pasture, but things were good for this year.
Hayley eased herself up onto the open tailgate, opened her water bottle and drank. Spence came to sit beside her, keeping a few inches of sun-warmed metal between them. Hayley opened the cooler next to her and pulled out his bottle, handing it to him before leaning back on her palms.
“I love ticking a project off the to-do list,” she said, surveying the taut fence. “There are posts to be replaced along the boundary fence, but it’s not pressing.”
“What would you like to tackle next?” Spence asked.
“Pipe corrals?”
He nodded at the ground. “I can do that alone.”
“Wanna bet?”
He glanced at her, caught the playful challenge in her eyes, and somehow managed to keep from leaning closer and nudging her with his shoulder. The last kiss they’d shared had convinced him that they shouldn’t touch too often—or at all.
“I heard from Andie,” Hayley said conversationally.
Spence accepted the shift of subjects. They’d discuss pipe corrals later. “How’s she doing?”
