Page 11 of Unforgettable Cowboy
“Yes.”She clasped her hands together as if not knowing what to do with them as she searched for a way to make this awkwardness, born of a ten-year-old mistake on her part, to go away.“I owe you an apology.I handled things poorly when I broke up with you.”
Her words sounded like a speech she’d practiced in front of the mirror.She hadn’t because she’d never expected her and Hayes to be at a place where she needed to apologize.She figured that they were both happy to leave the past where it was, but she knew now that was a mistake.The air needed to be cleared, especially now that he was in on her secret.
“I’d prefer an explanation to an apology.”
“It wasn’t going to work between us,” she said, surprised at how good it felt to say those words.“Not in the long run.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me that?”
“I did.”
“In a note.”
Bailey closed her eyes.She’d rarely backed down from anything in her life, but breaking up with Hayes… “I guess I was afraid that you’d talk me out of leaving.”
“What?”
She lifted her chin.“I watched my mom get talked in and out of all kinds of stuff before Bruce took off.”
“So?”
“I didn’t want to lose myself.Or be talked into things.”To make sacrifices, like her mother had, that would have ultimately hurt her.
Hayes cocked his head, his eyes narrowing as he digested her words.Then he shook his head as if he couldn’t make sense of what she was saying.“I wouldn’t have done that—talked you into things.”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
“We were friends before we hooked up.How could you think…” He let his words trail.
How, indeed?Fear did things to logic.
Bailey put her hands on her temples and squeezed.“I thought all kinds of things.It was a bad time, Hayes.”
“I understand that.I was there.”He folded his arms over his chest, his expression serious as he said, “I wasn’t a danger to you.Not at all.”
Bailey went still as he emphasized the last words.Had she misunderstood his feelings?Totally possible.And how mortifying was that?
But even if his feelings for her hadn’t been strong enough to try to talk her out of bolting, her feelings for him had been frighteningly strong.Strong enough that she didn’t trust herself.
“Okay,” she said slowly, buying time as her brain came up to speed.“I guess I overreacted.”
“To?”
The perfection that was you.
“My own fears, Hayes.I was floundering.”Yet with Hayes she’d felt safe.Like she had someone to lean on.Then she’d started thinking about the price she might pay for that leaning.
“I was totally attracted to you, Bailey.”He smiled reminiscently.“You had that cowgirl swagger that drove me nuts.”
“But you weren’t ready to get serious.”
“I was twenty.Of course not.”
How could she not have seen this?
Heat seeped into her cheeks as she cleared her throat.“It’s good we got this out in the open.It’ll make coming to work a lot easier.”
“Imagine that.Communication making things better.”
