Page 91 of The Rebel and the Rose
Nadia blinked in surprise. ‘Do you truly despise your magic?’
‘I think the problem is I don’t understand it,’ Sera admitted. ‘It’s hard to summon. Except when things get out of hand. It’s like it only comes rushing out of that well inside me when I’m not looking, when I’m not ready. It ends up hurting people.Ihurt people.’
‘And you’re hoping this prince-saint will help you figure it out?’
An affirming nod. ‘I think he’s the only one who can.’
Nadia was quiet then, perhaps unconvinced. For a while, the only sound was the crunch of her boots on the gravel. Sera was beginning to regret her honesty when the Dagger said, ‘It was like that for me at the start. With Shade. I would swallow a vial and then panic. The shadows would go everywhere,like a pit of frightened snakes. Twice, I nearly killed Lark and Ransom. The time I accidentally hit Lisette, she ran to Dufort. He nearly kicked me out of the Order.’
‘I had no idea it was so complicated.’
‘It’s not supposed to be,’ said Nadia, a little sheepishly. ‘I was just afraid. Really, really afraid. My fear became a block. It made the Shade turn back on itself instead of doing what I wanted it to do.’
‘How did you fix it?’
Nadia smiled. ‘I got out of my own way.’
‘Well, that’s helpfully vague.’ Sarcasm tripped through Sera’s voice.
‘As long as you fear your magic, it will master you. If you learn to embrace it, even the big scary parts,youwill master your power. Only then will you know what kind of saint you’re truly meant to be.’
Madame Fontaine’s words echoed inside Sera’s mind.
Fear is a fog you cannot see through.
‘I guess I’ll just have to figure out the fearless part.’
‘Just wait until you’re faced with a threat bigger than your magic, saint.’
They walked on, coming to the back of the cemetery, where the graves thinned, and the trees thickened. The wind picked up, and the scent of lemon blossoms tickled Sera’s nose.
She came to a stop, sure she glimpsed movement in the trees. Or perhaps it was her magic that sensed something. That familiar flare of warmth in her chest grew hotter, more insistent, as if something had roused it.
‘Do you see something?’ said Nadia.
‘I don’t know.’ Sera tried to shake it off. ‘I just… I have the weirdest feeling we’re being watched.’
Nadia rolled her narrow shoulders, slipping a vial from her pocket. ‘We’re the threat. We have nothing to fear.’
‘You’re right. I’m probably just being—’ Sera’s foot hit against something. She looked down to find herself staring into two gaping eye sockets. There was a skull in the middle of the path.
Nadia cursed, pulling her towards a nearby headstone. More bones here too. A ribcage. A leg and an arm. Fingers strewn along the row like confetti.
They followed them like breadcrumbs, bile gathering in Sera’s throat. ‘These graves are open.’
Not wasting another breath, Nadia downed her vial in one go, putting a foot of space between them. Shadows swarmed her like a cloak. ‘It’s here,’ she hissed. ‘It’spractising.’
Sera’s magic was in her throat now, as hot as lava.
‘We should run,’ she said, with growing urgency.
Nadia planted her feet. ‘No. We should fight.’
Panic roared in Sera’s ears. They couldn’t fight. Not like this. Not when it was only the two of them. But Nadia refused to budge. The wind cast strands of her ebony hair about her face as she scanned their surroundings. Bringing her hands to her hips, she shouted, ‘We’re not scared of you, graverobber.’ Shadows billowed around her, making her look fierce and beautiful and deadly. ‘Come out and face us!’
Sera’s heartbeat thrummed, her hands glimmering with the nearness of her magic. Her skin adopted that strange, eerie glow.
She told herself,Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid.
