Page 18 of Certified Pressure 2
We said we loved each other and hung up. I felt lighter. Not fixed. Just lighter. I rubbed my chest and reached for the blunt again, then left it alone.
A knock hit the door, and before I could say come in, it opened. Ka’mari stepped in like the room like we still shared it. She looked good. I saw it and kept my face plain. She carried a cup of coffee and walked to my bed.
“I made it how you like it,” she said.
I took the cup and nodded. “I appreciate it.”
“You good?” she asked.
“I’m straight.”
We sat quiet. Steam curled from the cup, and she watched me like she was huntin’ for a sign I would not give. Then she spoke again.
“I don’t think Toni Roc is here for you.”
My chest tightened. I set the cup down and looked at her. “I ain’t tryna hear shit about nobody else right now. If you came in here to run names, take that coffee back and find the door.”
Her mouth pulled tight. “You are so cruel to me now.”
“Cruel?” I stared at her and shook my head. “You really thought I was about to treat you like a princess after you lived with another nigga for almost two years? That’s not how this shit work, Ka’mari. You walk in like you still got rank. That’s entitlement like a muthafucka.”
She swallowed and looked right back. “And you don’t have the same complex? You forget the way you acted when I tried to move on? You showed up everywhere I went. You blew up my phone. You beat Donovan in front of people like you needed everybody to see who ran me. If I was so wrong and so toxic, why couldn’t you let me go?”
I felt my jaw lock. “You called me to your crib when that bitch ass nigga put hands on you, and I came ‘cause you asked me. Don’t rewrite this shit like I was beggin’. And if I really made your life hell, what you doin’ sittin’ on my bed right now?”
She blinked and held her ground. “I didn’t come to fight, Pressure.”
“You do it easy though,” I said.
“I love you,” she said. Her voice thinned, and it hit a part of me I wished would stay numb. “But I do not love your temper. Even when I got engaged, I knew I would never love another man like I love you. I tried to move on. I thought I could want what looked safe. Clearly, I couldn’t. I know I messed up. I know I hurt you. You hurt me too, but still… I don’t wanna be without you.”
I didn’t answer. I wouldn’t give her that. I let the words sit between us and work on me in silence. Memories ran on their own. I remembered mornings when she used to bring me coffee and sit on my lap while I checked numbers. I remembered nights I swore I was done and then let her in anyway. I felt all of it and kept my face cold.
She reached up and slid her finger under my chin like she used to do. She tugged my beard a little and turned my head toward her. Her eyes stayed on mine like she wanted to pull the truth out by force.
“I love you, Pressure,” she said. She leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and short, more like a reminder than a promise. She stepped back and nodded at the cup. “Enjoy your coffee, and your day.”
She turned and walked out. The click of the door felt loud. I looked down at the steam rollin’ off the top of the cup and shook my head. My head dropped, and I let out a long breath I didn’t even know I was holdin’. The ache in my chest sat there and refused to move. I couldn’t tell if it came from love, habit, or just poison that I kept swallowin’ because it tasted like memory. I rubbed my sternum and stared at the floor, quiet and stubborn, the way I had always been when somethin’ cut me, and I refused to bleed where anybody could see it.
Later that night…
I had been in my room all day, damn near in the same spot Ka’mari found me in. My head was heavy, full of shit I ain’t feel like untanglin’, so I rolled me up another fat blunt and poured a glass of D’usse XO over ice. That brown hit different when it’s cold. It was smooth enough to calm me down but rich enough to remind me who the fuck I was. I sat there for a minute lettin’ the cubes crack against the glass, then I grabbed it, stepped in the elevator, and told myself I needed some air before I lost it.
The second them doors slid open, and I hit the front steps, I felt the stillness. Out here the night don’t rush you. It just sit, quiet and peaceful as hell. The estate was lit just enough to show off the fountains and marble paths, but the jungle sat right behind it, black and endless like it was guardin’ me. I sparked up and let that first pull smack my lungs, slow walkin’ down the stone trail with my drink in one hand and my blunt in the other.
Love…That’s the word that’s been fuckin’ with me. Niggas love to glorify it but if you ask me, love was some weak shit. It ain’t never been nothin’ but headaches and heartbreaks, somethin’ designed to throw a king off his square. But ever since Pluto walked her pretty ass in my life, I been losin’ more time thinkin’ than actin’, and that shit wasn’t sittin’ right with me. I didn’t even know what the fuck to call it. Obsession maybe. Or maybe I just hated the fact she had my chest heavy every time I breathed.
She ain’t reached for me since I left her side. There wasn’t no messages or lil’ stunts like Ka’mari, just showin’ up on some wild shit. Pluto was gone, and that silence been eatin’ me alive. I kept askin’ myself if she missed me like I miss her, if she’s safe, if sheeven think about me when the night gets quiet. And the answer never came, just the same damn ache.
While lettin’ Pluto set up condos in my damn head, I saw sonethin’ up ahead. It was a curvy figure movin’ slow, the sway hittin’ like it was meant to hypnotize. The way the moon bounced off that frame made my heart knock harder than before. I stopped mid-step, blunt hangin’ from my lips, and glass cold in my hand. For a second, I swore it was Pluto.
The closer she came, the harder my chest beat, like I was about to wake up from the dream I been stuck in. Every curve screamed her name, every shadow made me believe she had found her way back to me. My hand twitched like it wanted to reach for her already.
But the closer she got, the truth punched me dead in the face. It wasn’t Pluto.
It was Kashmere…
She looked surprised to see me, but I could tell she ain’t wanna show it. She just stood there for a second, her shape bold under the moonlight, her eyes catchin’ mine before driftin’ to my glass. She looked good as always. Her curves was sittin’ right, skin glowin’ and lips soft enough to make a man forget whatever the fuck had him pressed in the first place.
