Page 114 of Slow Heat
“Yes, I wanted to soothe him,” Vale agreed, rubbing his bearded chin.And I wanted him to love me the way I know I could love him.“But then things…”
“Enough. We remember.” Yule sighed. “I can’t believe I’m asking this next question. Two days ago, I was sure I wanted to convince Jason to take a surrogate, but…” He sighed. “Why don’t you want to contract with our son? Is it because of this situation? Or our history with illegally procured abortion drugs?”
Yule’s worry that he’d compromised his son’s happiness was touching, but Vale didn’t torture him by letting him cling to it. “No. I won’t contract with your son because it will only lead to regret, resentment, and sadness in the end. He deserves an omega his own age who can give him children.” The sob at the end of the sentence wasn’t for effect. It tore out of him like a hand had gripped his heart and tugged it free.
Miner’s jaw clenched and he leaned forward, shaking his head. “Nonsense. He’ll never be happy without you. You’ll never be happy without him. I don’t know what you’ve done in your past that you think you need to be punished for, but please don’t hurt my son out of your own self-loathing.”
Vale’s heart thudded dully somewhere outside his body. “You deserve grandchildren. He deserves a family. And I can’t give him that.”
“The word ‘family’ can mean a lot of different things,” Yule said gently.
“But it shouldn’t for Jason,” Vale whispered, eyes welling.
Miner’s shoulders slumped. “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.” He stared down at his own clenched hands on the table. “Jason wasn’t supposed to end up like this.”
“My point exactly,” Vale said, rising from the table, legs shaking. He lifted his chin to show his determination, even though it quivered. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t. He’ll have a good life. He’s a wonderful boy, like you said, Miner. He’ll make someone a wonderful alpha. I wish that someone was me, I truly do. But I won’t end up being the cause of his future pain and sadness.”
Miner sneered, patting at his chest pocket for the silver cigarette case and coming up empty. “You’re a fool. BeingÉrosgápeis a blessing and a curse. You’ll feel the pain regardless. So will he.”
“I’m doing this for his sake.”
“You’re not. You’re scared. You’re hiding!”
“At least he’ll have children. I understand they’re compelling creatures, worth giving up one’s own happiness and life for.” Vale grimaced as his arrow found its way home and Miner went even paler and held his hand to his heart. “I’ll keep your secrets, accept your allowance, and in return…”
“Yes?” Yule said, tightly.
“You’ll keep your son away from me.”
Vale’s throat ached as he turned and left the room. Yosef waited in the hallway, but Vale shook his head at him, taking the stairs two at a time. He had one more thing to do before he could head home, curl up in his bed, and hope to die.
First, he had to break Jason’s heart.
Jason returned tothe house with a bag of groceries and a head full of bees. He felt strange and disjointed, as if the pleasure of being inside Vale last night had never happened and the only reality was the misery radiating from his parents.
He’d tried to put it all aside and focus on the fact that today Vale would sign the contract and they’d be officially contracted asÉrosgápe. What that meant in terms of his day-to-day life, he didn’t know. They’d discuss living arrangements today for the final touches of the contract.
He hoped he could begin staying at Vale’s house immediately. He’d see about having all of his things sent to him over the next few weeks. He allowed himself to fantasize about taking Vale back home, making him dinner, and fucking him until they both fell asleep in Vale’s big cream and brown bed.
Still, he couldn’t get as excited as he wanted. He blamed his parents and this wolf-god forsaken pregnancy, but he also couldn’t shake the goodbye he and Vale had exchanged the night before. He remembered how Vale’s green eyes had filled with tears as he’d opened the door for Jason to leave.
“Don’t cry. We’ll just be apart for a few hours,” Jason had said, wishing that Vale would have agreed to let him stay and for them to go to the negotiations together.
Vale had kissed him then, strangely desperate, and when they’d broken apart he’d said, “Keep that kiss in your memory forever. Promise me.”
Jason had promised, confused, but he wasn’t going to deny Vale something so simple. Of course he’d remember the kiss forever. He’d remember everything about Vale forever.
After he’d given his promise, Vale had steered him out the door and sent him on his way. Nothing had felt right since.
The house was oddly quiet when he came in the front door, and he blinked to see Yosef seated on the bench in the hallway with his briefcase and a stack of papers in his hands.
“You’re early,” Jason said, smiling. “I’d shake your hand, but I’m juggling a lot here.”
Yosef stood, reaching out to take a bag. “Let me help get these to the kitchen.” He glanced up the stairs then and said, “On second thought, why don’t you just let me take them all and you go get dressed?”
Jason flushed. “Am I late? I didn’t think I stayed away that long.”
“You’re fine.” Yosef took the bags easily. “Go on upstairs.”
