Page 119 of Slow Heat
The water at the wharf was briny and thick with oil on the surface. While they watched, ships came and went. One even docked at the pier used by Jason’s father’s company for shipping engine parts. He and Xan found a good vantage point out of the way, and watched a mixed work group of betas unload boxes from the cargo holds.
“What are you going to do about school now that Monhundy’s targeting you?” Jason asked, when he thought it was safe.
Xan blew out a long breath and shrugged. “Without you around, I’m destined to flunk out anyway. I’d already decided to ask Father if I can start an early apprenticeship at his firm. It’d look better for him if I graduated, of course, but it’s not like I need any special education to do his job. He’s just a figurehead and that’s all I’ll need to be, too. I’ll smile, cut ribbons at the groundbreakings for new building projects, and let Ray do all the hard work.”
“Really? Ray?”
“He’s a beta, but he’s the one who got all the brains in the family. I’m a complete dud.” Xan gave a sugary fake smile. “In every single way.”
Xan’s father and pater had been happy when Xan presented as an alpha since their older son, Ray, had been a beta, and their third son had died from a childhood illness. Xan had been their bright light, their great hope.
In some ways, Jason thought Xan had more pressure on his shoulders than Jason did as an only child. At least Jason had a good relationship with both his parents. But Xan’s father was cold and demanding, critical and harsh. He’d told Xan in no uncertain terms that he was expected to bring at least four live births into the world, and that two of them must be alphas to make up for Xan’s pater’s poor showing in that regard. Omegas were fine, as well, but betas would be unacceptable.
“Do you think your father willletyou take on an apprenticeship?” He knew he should encourage Xan to stay in school, to get his education, but he didn’t know how Xan would survive if Monhundy decided to target him. “Isn’t there another way to prove you’re not unmanned?”
“Iamunmanned, idiot. Get used to it. I have.” He turned into the salty breeze. “I can study at home. I don’t need to put up with jerkwads like Monhundy to get an education. I can hire tutors. I can do whatever I want. The entire point of university was to be with you, anyway.” He shrugged. “And that’s over.”
“Maybe not, since Vale won’t contract with me.”
Xan rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous. He’s yourÉrosgápe. He’ll do what you tell him to do.” He huffed irritably. “You were probably too nice to him. Did you tell him he to sign the paper? No? Well, no wonder he left. Get a grip, Jason. You’re the alpha. You’re in charge, remember?”
“It doesn’t feel that way.” And how could he ever shake the images Vale had conjured up in his descriptive confession? How was he ever going to stop seeing Vale being fucked by hordes of men and then aborting the evidence? How was he ever going to unknow that the reason they were childless was because Vale had wanted to go to the shore without accommodating his heat?
He’d promised his pater he’d never hold Vale’s past against him, and he didn’t—not really—but he couldn’t quite put it away. Vale’s past impacted their future in ways Jason wasn’t ready to accept.
“When I have an omega…” Xan trailed off.
“Yeah?”
“Wolf-god, I don’t fucking want an omega.” He groaned. “I’d do anything to be in Vale’s shoes. He’s an idiot. I hate him. It’s official: he’s lumped in with everyone who isn’t you in my giant pile of people I hate.”
“If I shoved you off this pier, you’d hate me. That could fix everything.”
Xan laughed. “Oh, like you would.”
With some effort, Jason grabbed him around the waist and hauled him toward the railing, hefting him up—Xan was surprisingly heavy for someone so small—and acted like he was going to toss him over. Laughter burbled up from his chest as Xan squirmed and kicked, screeching in outrage. It surprised him. He hadn’t thought it was possible to laugh ever again.
Speaking of surprises…
He put Xan back on his feet and tolerated several of his irritated, retaliatory shoves before saying, “So, Pater is pregnant.”
“What?” Xan’s brows dropped. “I thought he couldn’t or something. Since he hadn’t in so long?”
“He’s not supposed to. It’s risky for him. He might die.”
Xan’s face twisted up. “Fuck, that’s messed up. Your omega dumps you and your pater’s gonna die? This is terrible. Jason, I think we need to go get drunk. I don’t know how else to deal with all this. Do you?”
Jason laughed again. Xan’s honest sincerity always had a way of pulling him out of the blue. He’d just never been this deep into it before. “Get drunk, huh?” He rubbed at the bruise forming on his jaw. “I could go for that. Where?”
“This way.” Xan tugged Jason’s hand and pulled him down the pier toward the street again. “Hollander’s Haven. Gin for cheap. They don’t check ID.”
“We’re old enough.” Though just barely.
Xan shrugged. “Don’t kill the thrill, all right? Just follow me and do what I say. You won’t regret it. I promise.”
Vale didn’t knowwhy he even bothered writing poetry. It was dreck. All dreck. Every single word was dreck, dreck, dreck.
And his skinburned. Relentlessly, horribly.
