Page 35 of Slow Heat
“Is that what this is about? Do you feel guilty about your choice?”
He hadn’t felt like he had a real choice at the time. The idea of carrying a strange alpha’s child to term, birthing it alone, and then raising it on his own had been terrifying. Add to that trying to manage his existence as an uncontracted, unbonded, alpha-less omega with a child in tow? In their culture? And so soon after his parents’ deaths? It had seemed impossible and unfair to the child. What kind of future would it have?
Looking at his life now, he couldn’t imagine it with a half-grown child in it, complicating this situation with Jason even more. No, he didn’t really have regrets about his choice. He only regretted the consequences of it, and the fact that now he had so much less to offer the young, handsome alpha he desperately and illogically wanted to choose him.
“I want my whole life to have been different. I want to have met Jason when I was supposed to, when all my age mates met theirÉrosgápe. I want to have born him several lovely children by now. Or I want to have never met him at all and to have kept on happily with Urho until one or both of us grew tired of it, or we died.”
“You’ll be a perfect match for a nineteen-year-old after all,” Yosef said. “Mooning over things you can’t have and what can never be.”
Vale snorted. “Is this your way of saying I should grow up?”
“Yes. Grow up, Vale. Get your head out of your ass and face the situation full on.” Yosef’s white eyebrows lowered. “You’ve got to make a plan. Everything will happen faster than you think.”
Zephyr knocked another book from the shelf, and they both jumped.
“See, even your cat agrees with me. Stop self-flagellating and stop wishing. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Accept this situation for what it is, and then let’s move forward together. Understood?”
Vale swallowed the last of his drink, slammed the glass on the coffee table, and nodded. “Your logic can’t be faulted. I’m done moping. What’s next?”
“Here’s a list of their properties. Let’s see what your alpha stands to inherit, compare that to what you bring to the table, and determine what kind of bargains we can anticipate and negotiate in your favor. It shouldn’t be hard, especially since he’s an only child. He’ll be spoiled, I’m sure. His parents probably have little to no practice saying no to him.”
Vale nodded, taking up the list of properties. There was nothing to be done but move ahead as if Jason might choose him despite his failures and faults.
And if Jason didn’t? If he took the smart option?
Vale would deal with the heartbreak then.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Jason stood byhis bedroom window gazing out over the manicured lawn to the road he knew led to Vale’s house. He’d taken his entire dose of alpha quell that morning, supervised by Father who’d come into his room just before his usual waking time to make sure he downed it all.
The drug helped him keep his wits about him, but he resented its effectiveness, too. He wanted to feel the pull of the imprint; he wanted to give into it and run off down the street, past the other alphas and omegas going about their day, to see Vale again. Protocols be damned. But he knew better, and the alpha quell helped him remember all the reasons why he needed to be patient.
At least for today.
He headed downstairs to the kitchen, prepared his own breakfast of an egg sandwich, and ate it leaning against the study door listening for any scrap of information in Pater and Father’s muffled tones. He jumped away and pretended to be examining himself in the ornate mirror across the hall just as the door opened. Patting at his hair and inspecting his teeth, he hoped it seemed as if he was doing nothing more than indulging in some vanity.
Pater’s raised brow told Jason he hadn’t fooled him one bit.
“Come in, son. We’d like to share the information Jeft Mellor brought for us.”
Jason leapt away from the mirror and ducked into his father’s office. The windows were open, allowing a cool autumn cross-breeze to carry away the cigarette smoke, but the brass plate on the edge of Father’s desk and the four crumpled stubs spoke to Pater’s continued anxiety or pain.
“Sit.” Father nodded at the second chair opposite his desk. He was dressed in his usual oxford shirt and a pair of dress pants. His jacket and a tie hung at the ready on a coat stand next to his desk, but he only added those if a business associate came to visit.
His blond hair was slicked back from his worried forehead with the lemon-scented oil he used to style it, and his blue eyes seemed tired but not angry. Jason took that as a good sign.
Pater folded himself into the other open seat. He’d eschewed the soft pants of the day before for a nicer pair of trousers, cut in the latest style. A fashionable sweater was pushed up at the forearms, revealing his trembling hands. He tucked them between his legs and nodded at Father.
“You can smoke if you want,” Jason whispered. “I can deal with it.”
Pater smiled gently. “I’ve indulged myself enough. It’s time to get to business.”
Father slapped an inch-thick stack of papers on his desk alongside three slim fabric-covered volumes. “Hopefully Mr. Aman will have hired an attorney who can help him prepare his disclosure forms. I doubt he has an omega packet prepared and set aside. In all likelihood, any information his parents prepared is long gone, deemed unnecessary. We may never have all the details we’d like about his family.”
“It’s fine,” Jason said.
Father’s lips pressed together, but he didn’t object to Jason’s opinion. “The good news is that his father was a research assistant at Mont Juror, so there’s no lack of intelligence, most likely. And his pater was considered a fine man by all accounts. Kept a good house. They were sociable and well-liked.”
