Page 93 of Slow Heat
Jason waited, his perfect lips trembling, but otherwise he kept his expression neutral.
Vale summoned courage and spit it out. “Does your father impregnate your pater even knowing he can’t carry to term? And then does he require your pater to use illegal abortifacient drugs to dispose of the baby?”
There. He’d said it. Now for Jason’s reaction.
Jason hunched over the teacup, closing his eyes. “Yes. But it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“What is it then? And how do you know what I’m thinking?”
Jason covered his face. “You think my father is a cruel alpha who cares more for his own pleasure than my pater’s health.”
Vale didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.
Jason met his gaze and whispered, “My father would give his life for Pater. It’s not like that at all.”
“Then why doesn’t he use condoms to protect him?”
“Pater is severely allergic to the government supplies and the alternatives are…” He spread his hands and shook his head.
The government’s position on condoms was touch and go. They supplied them only because the outcry was too great when they didn’t allow any at all. And they’d cracked down on what they called ‘less safe’ condoms over the last half-decade especially.
The ones they provided were made with a protein known to be problematic for many omegas, though he’d never had an issue, thankfully. And Urho reported that they dulled sensation significantly, especially during knotting. Of course, the government was much more invested in ensuring reproduction between legally contracted pairs than family planning. They didn’t want condoms to be safe or pleasurable. They wanted their use to be rare.
“I see.”
“Did you really think Father didn’t care enough about Pater to protect him? That he’d impregnate him against his will?” His eyes filled with tears. “That he’d try to make me do the same to you? And that I would?”
Vale swallowed. “It had crossed my mind. Yes.”
“I’d rather die than hurt you.”
“Your death would hurt me,” Vale whispered. “Irreparably.”
Which was true but also said way too much about how far their bond had come already and the danger they were both in now. He had to come clean soon. He had to tell Jason the truth about his past. Then Jason would opt to take a surrogate—no matter how much Vale wanted him—no matter how sweet a game they’d been playing.
The doorbell rang, and Jason started. “That’ll be Mox.”
“He’s early.”
“He probably thought he’d beat me here.” Jason headed toward the kitchen door. “Tell them I’m out back.” With his hand on the doorknob, he said quietly but with an authority that made Vale’s knees weak, “This isn’t over. You will talk to me and we will fix this.”
Jason walked out the door and shut it firmly behind him.
Vale wanted to go drag Jason back, fall to his knees, and tell him the truth about his past. He wanted to feel washed clean by Jason’s unconditional acceptance and love. Then he wanted to suck Jason’s cock in desperate gratitude, and present himself to be fucked. When Jason pressed into him, the shame over his past would finally evaporate. He’d be safe and loved. Whole and complete with his alpha, the way he was meant to be. His legs shook as his omega glands released a wealth of slick.
At least he hadn’t showered yet.
After opening the front door to direct Mox and the crew to the back of the house, he went up to his room. Passing Zephyr sleeping in the center of his bed, he turned into his bathroom and stripped off. His body felt feverish from the hangover and he let the shower run cooler than usual to siphon away some of the heat.
Then he dried himself, brushed his teeth and hair, and slipped on a soft pair of loose pants and an old t-shirt. He climbed onto the bed by Zephyr, trying not to disturb her, and stared at the window over the back yard. The view was of tree limbs and a wide, blue sky. He couldn’t see Jason and the betas out there working, but he felt him there.
Even though they were at odds, knowing Jason was outside his window working for him made him feel safe.
Tender.
His alpha wanted to make things good for him, make things right. Never mind that he had all the doubts in the universe clogging up his brain and heart. Right now, Jason was taking care of him. He’d never had that comfort in his adult life before. He’d always been alone. But for now he wasn’t. He wrapped the feeling around himself like a blanket.
When the work songs began and he heard Jason’s sweet baritone lifting with the rest, it was easy to drift off to sleep.
