Page 16 of Will & Patrick's Endless Honeymoon
“Oh. Yeah.” Will clears his throat. He gazes up at the sky and sees darker clouds edging onto the horizon. “That feels like another life.”
She nods slowly. “Do you ever hear from him?”
Will shakes his head. A slither of guilt tries to worm in, telling him heshouldknow what’s happening with his ex, his first love, his first everything. But he shoves the thoughts away ruthlessly. “I haven’t seen or heard from him in a very long time.”
“Oh.” She lowers her brows and stares over his shoulder, her expression saying she knows something and she’s not sure whether she should tell him.
He licks his lips. “I hope he’s happy wherever he is.”
She nods and clears her throat, eyes darting to the ground as she crosses her arms. The sky is quiet as the dark, fat clouds roll closer. The silence between them grows and he knows whatever news she’s holding back, it’s not good.
“What have you heard?” he eventually whispers.
“Not much.” She meets his eyes, and her own are full of empathy. “Hartley came back into town for his dad’s funeral and he looks pretty bad. And not just from grief. He looks…bad.”
“I know.” Well, he didn’t know Hartley had been in town recently, but the last time he saw him still haunts his dreams. Hartley had been a shell of the proud man he’d been before he left town with Ryan. And Will still thinks the shadows under his eyes were healing bruises.
“Ryan wasn’t with him when I ran into him at Brown Gargle. But Andy Sicko told me later that Hartley toldhimRyan’s in the hospital.”
Will swallows hard.
“Yeah,” Caitlin whispers. “With acute liver failure from drinking. They’re trying to get him on a transplant list, but it doesn’t look good.”
Will breathes in and out slowly. As far as the whole reel-him-in-and-then-clock-him-with-a-two-by-four act goes, Caitlin’s just as good as Kimberly, apparently. “I see. That…that sucks.”
“Yeah. But I don’t understand. Ryan never drank when he was withyou.”
“No.” Will shakes his head.
While they were together, Ryan hadn’t ever had a drop as far as Will knew. Instead he just drove Will to drink, taking some kind of addictive, abusive pleasure in hurting Will, undermining him, and setting him up to fail.
“I wonder why he started drinking again after you broke up?”
Will shivers. He doesn’t want to think about these things. He doesn’t want to know. He swallows with an audible click and stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying to regain his balance.
“Do you think he couldn’t forget you?” Caitlin asks, gently.
“No,” Will whispers. “I think he’s an alcoholic.”
“So are you. And now that you’re with Patrick, you don’t drink anymore, either.”
Will wipes a hand over his mouth. “It’s not like it’s always easy. It’s not like I don’t have to make a daily effort to stay sober. I didn’t fall in love with Patrick and wake up cured.”
“I know. But you’re so much happier with Patrick. Doesn’t that help?”
“Yes. It helps. But it doesn’t mean I never struggle with it.”
The lines between her brows deepen. “Maybe Ryan wasn’t as happy with Hartley. Maybe that’s why—”
“Stop!” Will puts his hand on Caitlin’s shoulder and squeezes. He swallows down swelling nausea. “I can’t think about things like that, Caitlin. I can’t be responsible for him.”
“Oh! I didn’t mean you were!” Her eyes go wide, and he believes she hadn’t intended that implication. “I just…never mind. I should have kept my mouth shut.”
Will smiles, but his gut churns. “It’s okay. I was bound to find out anyway.”
“I’m surprised Patrick didn’t tell you. Ithasto be all over thatHurting Timesapp he loves so much.”
Will rubs a hand over his suddenly sweaty forehead. No doubt Patrick does know all about Ryan’s situation and Hartley’s visit. But Patrick also knows Will too well and loves him too much to think he needs to hear anything about it.
