Page 114 of Alpha Heat
“I believe in you. If you want back in that house, you’ll find a way.”
Xan pondered the problem once he hung up, not wanting to further involve Joon in his mission. He closed his eyes and considered. The answer presented itself almost immediately. Jason had always called him a wily thing and smarter than his grades suggested.
At the moment, Xan was willing to think he might have been right.
At Urho’s house,the door swung open door before he’d even rung the bell.
“Mr. Heelies, I’m Mako,” the tall, casually dressed, middle-aged beta servant said, with a kind, welcoming smile. “I’m Dr. Chase’s cook and, unfortunately,” he clucked his teeth, “the only servant not ill.”
Xan shook his head in amazement. The more he heard about this flu, the more he marveled at the intensity of it. Maybe heshouldbe more frightened. “I’m so sorry to hear everyone has taken sick. Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” Mako said, waving him inside. “I’m caring for the others and Dr. Chase has given me permission to use some of his medications. All in all, we’ve been lucky.”
Xan scooted by him and into the posh foyer. He gazed up at the vaulted ceiling as he had the first time he’d come, and let Mako take his coat. Once it was hung neatly in the foyer closet, Mako gestured at the staircase.
“His room is up there, at the back of the house. I’ll let you find it on your own, sir. He’s private and I don’t normally go in there. That’s normally the housekeeper’s job and since he’s sick…” Mako shrugged helplessly. “I did go in earlier, though, and take the medication he said we could have.”
“I’m sure that’s find. And, it’s all right. I can find it myself.”
“It’s the last room, sir. Make yourself at home. Dr. Chase said to give you free reign of the house.”
Xan smiled at Mako. “Thank you.”
The banister was cool under his fingers. The entire house smelled like Urho’s clothing usually did, or at least had before he came to Virona. It was warm, a little spicy, and somehow there was a hint of old pipe tobacco. Though, as far as Xan knew, Urho didn’t smoke.
He followed the curve of the stairs up, and then around. The hallway was dark and cool, and he spotted the door near the end that must lead to Urho’s bedroom.
Reaching it, he hesitated. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized he’d hoped for something very different the first time he was granted access to Urho’s bedroom—something more intimate, and sexier for sure. But this inner sanctuary, which even Mako admitted was special to Urho, seemed like such a revered place now that he had his hand on the door.
He wished Urho was here with him and that instead of fetching medicines for his brother and pater, his lover was bringing him to this room to share it with him.
Shaking off his disappointment, he opened the door and paused inside. The room was beautiful, but it looked nothing like Urho’s tastes to him. On one wall there was a large painting of the ocean, full waves flooding over white sand and blue skies colliding with blue water.
Urho loved the ocean; that much was true. Xan had walked alongside it with him every day since Urho had arrived in Virona. But he didn’t seem the kind of man to want the ocean in his bedroom, especially this cheerful, lively rendition of it.
The other wall was a mirror, reflecting the bed and the windows. Blue, gauzy curtains floated over the sparkling, clear panes of glass, light and airy. It was a gentle room, a youthful one, full of air and water, and a sense that laughter should ring tirelessly in the air around him. It was nothing like the staid, serious, intense man Xan had come to love.
For a moment, Xan wondered if he’d misjudged Urho so deeply, that this would be his bedroom. How was it that he understood so little of his lover that his most personal space would seem foreign and strange to him?
And then he realized.
The room had been decorated by Riki.
He sucked in a breath, shocked by the sharp pain he felt. No, he didn’t want to have this reaction. It wasn’t generous. It wasn’t loving. It wasn’t even kind.
He frowned, shook himself, and headed toward the medicine cupboard Urho had told him about. Ray and Pater were sick and there was really no time to lose in unwanted self-pity and silly jealousy. He opened the wooden chest carefully and looked inside for the tin with the willow-tree branding. He found it easily and pocketed it. Then he took the bottle with the black elderberry and the dark star.
As he turned back to the door, his eyes lingered on the bed and, against his will, his nose wrinkled. He couldn’t imagine Urho taking him here, fucking him on this bed that was still so obviously Riki’s. His heart knotted up, tangled between emotions, useless and strange.
His eyes landed on another door, half-open and, oddly, already lit from within by a lightly glowing electric lamp. He hesitated, something inside telling him that he’d only been granted permission to look in one cupboard.
And yet…
He had the door to the smaller room open before he’d fully made the decision to invade Urho’s privacy in this way.
The painting above the desk of a pregnant Riki was, at first, all he could see. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the handsome, happy, blond man, with his hand on his bulging belly. Pregnant with Urho’s child—something Xan could never be. Bitterness filled his mouth.
Xan’s hands shook slightly as he stepped deeper into the room and recognized it for what it was: a shrine. Urho’sÉrosgápewas forever worshiped here as his other half, as his soul mate, as the completion that Urho’s very cells longed for day in and out forever.
