Page 44 of Alpha Heat
“But…” Xan rubbed his fingers over his eyes.
“No ‘but’ at all. More of an ‘and,’ darling.Andyour lover is trustworthy, strong, handsome, and used to surrogate duties. He’s a perfect choice. Swallow your pride and accept this help.”
Xan shook his head. “But what about your reputation? Everyone will think you suffer from interminable heat.”
“Oh no!” Caleb gasped and clutched his chest. “People will talk!” He rolled his eyes and then smiled indulgently. “Alpha mine, people have talked about me for years. They speculated about what damage—mental or physical—might cause me to refuse so many offers to contract, what kinky sexual activities I must indulge in to be so hard to match, and then there’s you! And all the rumors that fly around about your barroom brawls and proclivities. Let them talk! They already do! I’m beyond caring. And your money makes us rather bulletproof.”
Xan rose to his feet and Urho watched as his boy (his boy? he was losing his mind here!) paced the floor. “My father will be appalled. Last time, he made sure I understood that servicing you, getting you pregnant, was my sole responsibility and that I needed to step up to the plate and be a man.”
“You have stepped up to the plate by getting access to the pills for stamina and by providing a wonderful surrogate option in your lover. I don’t think Urho will be gossiping about his duties toward me at parties!”
“Of course not,” Urho said, stung. He sometimes discussed his surrogate work with Vale, Jason, Yosef, and Rosen, but if Caleb and Xan wanted to keep this between the three of them, of course he could be trusted to do that.
“Good,” Caleb said, turning back to Xan. “As for your father, he’ll be fine with it. Leave him to me.”
Xan’s lips twisted. “He does like you.”
“Because I flatter him.”
“True. But I’m not sure that me arranging for a surrogate will impress himormake him think I should be allowed to see Pater.”
“Your father is keeping you from your pater?” Urho asked.
“It’s nothing,” Xan said, flapping a hand, but he still chewed on his lip, so it was clearly very much something.
“I think he’ll be more impressed that you’ve arranged a discreet way to prevent my suffering than if you allowed the next heat to be another failure.”
“I want to be able to do this myself,” Xan said with longing. “I want to be the alpha you deserve.”
Caleb rose and pulled Xan up into his arms. “You accept me the way I am. This is me accepting you the way you are, darling. And I’m encouraging you to accept yourself.”
“Limitations and all?”
“No, Xan.No.You and me? We’re without limits. This is even further proof of that. Boundless love and friendship and boundless acceptance—that’s what we give each other.”
Xan nodded against Caleb’s neck, and Urho stood slowly.
It was a risk, and he didn’t know if he was overstepping, but they’d had a very intimate discussion in front of him,abouthim, even. Despite all sense and reason, he’d laid some sort of claim to both these men now. So he wrapped his arms around them both, joining in their embrace.
Caleb stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. When the embrace ended, Caleb said, “Now that’s all settled, I’m going to leave you two alone.” Caleb kissed Xan’s cheek. “I’ll be in my room. Come to me before bed?”
Xan nodded, and his eyes followed Caleb out the door before he collapsed on the sofa again, covering his face. Urho stood by helplessly, confused about what he should do next: return to his chair, sit beside Xan, or maybe take his leave? It’d been a confusing day for them both, surely. Maybe Xan would prefer to be alone?
“What happens now?” Xan said, his voice muffled through his hands over his face.
Urho chose to sit next to him on the sofa, close, but not quite touching. “I admit I don’t know. I’ve never done this kind of thing before.”
The honesty seemed to prod Xan from where he was hiding, and he dropped his hands, a self-deprecating smirk on his lips. “Believe it or not, I have. Not exactly this, I suppose, but I’ve had a lover before.”
“Jason.”
Xan swallowed hard and nodded, darting his eyes toward the fire. His bruised cheek shone in the dancing light. “We don’t talk about it. The two of us. We never mention it. It just exists there. A memory that we both feel, but we ignore.”
Urho knew exactly what that was like. He and Vale were the same. “It must be difficult to see him so happy.”
“It has been, yeah. At times. But I love him—as a friend—so I’m glad for him too.”
Another point of feeling they had in common. “And sad for yourself.”
