Page 90 of Alpha Heat
“Letting go of Riki would be impossible, wouldn’t it? He completed you as only one other person in the whole world could. I’m not going to replace him.”
“You do understand,” Urho said, squeezing Xan’s hand again. “I don’t want you to replace him. But holding on doesn’t take me anywhere new, does it? You, though… With you, I could go somewhere different. A fresh journey to close out my life.”
“You’re not that old!”
“I’m good deal older than you. It’s better to accept that now so you can plan for it when you need to.”
“Do you see us together that long?” Xan asked, his heart leaping with hope.
“I don’t see why we wouldn’t be, if we learn how to manage the taboo nature of our relationship and want to accept the risks of it indefinitely.”
Xan swallowed hard, his hope a fluttering, twittering thing. “I do. I want that.”
Urho smiled. “Right now you do, but you’re young. As I age, things may change. I might not be able to satisfy—”
“Stop. I’ve never had something like this in my life. Don’t take it away from me before I even get a chance to enjoy it.”
“Then let’s enjoy this dinner instead.”
Xan agreed with a smile. He was quite content with their friendship. Later he’d tell Caleb that he and Urho had more in common than perfect fucks—though, the sex was so good, Xan would have been entirely content to let that be the end all and be all of their relationship. It was beyond lucky that it didn’t have to be.
Xan had never imagined he could be so truly happy.
Afterwards, they entered the gymnasium again, Urho saying, “When I was in the military, of course we held wrestling matches for entertainment, but it’s been a long time since I saw one.”
The chairs they’d reserved waited for them, despite the now-overflowing room. It seemed all the men from the upper floors had descended for the wrestling. The crowd paced the back of the space and the sides. Urho and Xan took their seats, eager for the matches to start.
“Interested in placing a bet?” Urho asked, nodding to the chalkboard, which was now covered in numbers and names.
Xan shook his head. “Father would think even less of me if I took up gambling. I’ll leave that to Janus. He’s the golden one in the family and can seem to do no wrong in Father’s eyes, even while doing plenty of wrong in the eyes of society. But never mind. I’ll leave that aside for now. Let’s just pretend that the only reason I’m not betting is that I have no idea who to put money on.”
Urho grinned and shrugged. “Not much of a betting man, either. Riki used to bet on horses, though.”
“Did he win?”
Urho laughed heartily. “No, he lost like a fiend, but he loved it so much I didn’t want to tell him to stop. He was always hopeful, and then so disappointed every time. Comforting him was worth whatever he lost. It was his money anyway.”
“He sounds like a fun man.”
“He was quiet, actually,” Urho said, knocking Xan’s shoulder. “Nothing like you. But his smile made my heart sing.” Then he looked at Xan again. “So maybe a little like you after all.”
Xan’s own heart soared on the praise. To be compared in any way favorably to Urho’sÉrosgápewas the highest compliment he could imagine. He grinned up at Urho, pleasure suffusing him from head to toe.
“Yes,” Urho murmured. “Exactly like that.” He touched his chest and winked. “It’s singing.”
A whistle called the crowd’s attention to the ring, and Xan laughed happily, his joy rushing louder than the announcement of the first two contenders. The Virona man wasn’t familiar to Xan from his dealings setting up the new office, nor was the Blue Vein competitor from the city, but he took notice that the crowd cheered rousingly for both.
“This should be good,” Urho said, leaning forward in his seat and gazing toward the ring with interest.
The match was quick. The Blue Vein competitor kicked the pants off the Virona man. Still, the moments between the bell and the call of victory had been thrilling. Man on man, grappling with effort, rolling around on the raised mat with hard panting breaths and flexing muscles.
Xan’s cock had woken again. He couldn’t help but imagine Urho pinning him like that as he struggled. How the ending might go differently between the two of them, especially if they were naked.
“Enjoy that?” Urho whispered in his ear, and Xan shivered happily.
“Yes.”
“I thought so.”
